Charlie Brown: Why was I put on this earth?
Linus: To make others happy.
Charlie Brown: Why were others put on this earth?
🤓
You will be misunderstood by everyone.
😪
His designs were strictly honourable, as the phrase is: that is, to rob
a lady of her fortune by way of marriage.
-- Henry Fielding, "Tom Jones"
🤑
[He] took me into his library and showed me his books, of which he had
a complete set.
-- Ring Lardner
😭
Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.
🤤
A housewife, an accountant and a lawyer were asked to add 2 and 2.
The housewife replied, "Four!".
The accountant said, "It's either 3 or 4. Let me run those figures
through my spread sheet one more time."
The lawyer pulled the drapes, dimmed the lights and asked in a
hushed voice, "How much do you want it to be?"
🤣

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