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Recent reviews by Zwooki

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1 person found this review helpful
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696.0 hrs on record (384.9 hrs at review time)
When EAFC 24 was announced, there was a glimmer of hope that the franchise might redeem itself. Unfortunately, what we received instead was a catastrophic disaster that makes even the most die-hard fans question their loyalty.

First and foremost, the gameplay is atrocious. Controls are unresponsive, and player movements are as fluid as my grandfather's balls. Every match feels like a painful chore, with players stumbling over themselves and the ball behaving like it's coated in jizz. EAFC 24 has somehow managed to take a massive step back from its predecessors, delivering a clunky, frustrating experience that will leave you questioning your sanity.

The graphics are atrocious. Players look like they've been modeled out of clay, with lifeless eyes and stiff animations that would have been outdated a decade ago. Stadiums and crowds are equally uninspired, resembling something out of a budget title from the early 2000s. It's as if EA decided to slap some old assets together and call it a day.

Then there's the infamous Ultimate Team mode, which is more pay-to-win than ever. EA's blatant cash grab is on full display, with microtransactions shoved down your esophagus at every turn. Building a competitive team without spending real money is virtually impossible, making it clear that EA is more interested in your wallet than providing a fair and enjoyable gaming experience. And you can forget about having good pack luck unless your a streamer.

The career mode, once a beloved feature, is now a buggy, uninspired mess. Menus are slow, player progression is nonsensical, and the lack of meaningful improvements makes it feel like EA didn't even try. It's a sad, hollow shell of what it used to be.

Finally, the online experience is a lag-ridden nightmare. Matchmaking is broken, with constant disconnects and game-breaking glitches that ruin any chance of enjoying multiplayer. It's a testament to EA's inability to deliver a stable online service, even after all these years.

In summary, EAFC 24 is a masterclass in how to make dogshite of a video game. It's a shameless cash grab with broken gameplay, outdated graphics, and a complete disregard for its players. Save your money and your sanity—avoid this disaster at all costs. EAFC 24 is an absolute disgrace to the world of digital football.
Posted 19 June, 2024.
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