I got peer pressured into Cookie Clicker and I've now peer pressured other people into buying Cookie Clicker. This is secretly a multi-leveled scheme where you try to bribe your friends with cookies, then manipulate your friends into buying cookies. I invited my friend over to my house where I sent subliminal messages to him by hiding the words Eat Buy Click Cookies hidden in all of the screenshots and pictures I sent him over the past week. When me and my friends got together to play a TTRPG, as the GM I secretly changed the names of a couple NPCs to different types of cookies. When we played a different online game, I named my character Danish and named his pet Butterscotch. I took the color hex code of the numerous cookies that appear in Cookie Clicker and changed the role colors of our online group chat to those colors.

I decided that friends aren't the only avenue for manipulation into buying cookies as I went out yesterday during Valentines Day to buy a box of cookies for my favorite cashier, planting the seeds of delving into Cookie Clicker into the mind of all of the employees. I went over to a fast food restaurant and used coupons to buy as many cookies as I could to hand out to customers, including their offspring. I bought a box of cookies which I would hand out to the homeless. I took the cardboard from the box of cookies and reinforced a birdhouse I found in hopes that the smell lingering on the box would transfer to the birds, insects, and other animals that would pass by the smelly empty box of cookies. I slipped dozens of printed pieces of paper with just the Cookie Clicker cookie on it into hundreds of my fellow student's lockers. I planted these cookie flyers on the college homeroom board, administrator board, and many of my professors whiteboards. I eat only cookies for lunch and as a snack in the classroom. I went to a frat party where I bought cookie flavored cologne and went around, making sure to accidentally bump into everyone at the party. I also made sure to have cookie flavored lip balm as I kissed both men and women there at the party.

When I went home, I noticed that my lamp, my bedsheets, my curtains, all looked like cookies. My flavored energy drinks were cookie flavored, my coffee tasted like cookies, and my steak was laced with pure cookie extract. I went to bed and dreamt of cookies. I woke up and smelt cookies. I log onto steam to play cookie clicker non-stop for days on end. I made reservations to get a tattoo of the big cookie. I listen to cookie clicker main menu theme while working out. I sneak myself into multiple online podcasts and promote cookies. I go to other gaming communities and I speak in tongues of cookies. I pray to God at church to grant the gracious touch of the cookie to my peers. I bought a ticket to go to a gaming convention where I intend on cosplaying as the big cookie. My dating profile now only consists of cookies. I spread the joy of cookie clicker in thousands of comment sections.

I sit in my living room alone with my thoughts as I daydream of cookies, suddenly everything goes pitch black... Thats when everything in my living room began to look flat and tasteless. I stare into my reflection coming off from my television and see not myself, but the big cookie. I am You in Cookie Clicker.