Har! My outer shell is meaningless, you fool! Within my decaying flesh courses more voodoo power than your pitiful mind can possibly imagine!

Guybrush Threepwood: What happened to Rum Rogers, Sr.?
LeChuck: He was takin' a bath in his cabin near Phatt Island, drinking rum and eatin' toast, as he always did while bathing, when the toaster "mysteriously" fell into the tub with him.
Guybrush Threepwood: Shocking.
LeChuck: His son inherited the map piece, but was too much of a drunkard to understand its importance!
[laughs]

Guybrush Threepwood: LeChuck, my new best pal! How'd you get out of jail?
LeChuck - Human: Oh, the guard was more than happy to release me once I convinced him that it was the only way to win Elaine's hand in unholy matrimony.
Guybrush Threepwood: Wait, unholy what?
LeChuck - Human: Unholy this!
[stabs Guybrush]
Elaine Marley: Guybrush!
Guybrush Threepwood: [collapsing] Elaine?
Elaine Marley: GUYBRUSH!
LeChuck - Human: LECHUCK!
[laughs]
LeChuck - Human: This name-shouting is jolly good fun!
Guybrush Threepwood: What became of Young Lindy, the cabin boy?
LeChuck: Fearin' fer his life, he came to me and begged for mercy. In return for not revealing the location of Big Whoop, I let him live. As a sign of me "gratitude," I gave him a fortune which he used to build a successful advertising firm. Once he had grown accustomed to his wealthy lifestyle, I returned to collect me debt. I delivered to him an account so demonically ill-conceived that it was doomed to fail: Gangrene 'n' Honey. Within a month, he was penniless and insane, a broken man! He sold everything he owned and got so desperate he fell in with a traveling circus. He was killed when he was shot from a cannon without a helmet.
Guybrush Threepwood: No one could be THAT desperate!

Guybrush Threepwood: What fate befell Captain Marley?
LeChuck: I ambushed him while he was racing in the America's Cup. I boarded his ship and decided to let him determine his own fate. He could grant me his blessing to have his granddaughter's hand in marriage, or he could suffer a death more horrible than any of his crewmates'.
Guybrush Threepwood: Well? What'd he say?
LeChuck: Actually, he said quite a few things. "Oh, the pain!" "Stop it, you're killing me!"
[Elaine tries to shout something through her gag]
LeChuck: Eh, some other things. I forget them all. I left him for dead and sent his ship into a whirlpool not even the most accomplished captain could escape!
[Elaine tries to shout something again]
Guybrush Threepwood: You're unbelievably ghastly and wretched!
LeChuck: Oh, thanks!