i’m granting you CTE warlord status!!!!

I think we got off on the wrong foot, so let's restart so you don't miss out on the opportunity of a lifetime (me). I'm Tony Polcari, a consultant living in Washington D.C.. My celebrity doppelganger is Ben Affleck, I'm exceptionally charismatic, foolishly romantic, well-to-do financially and physically, I've phenomenal reflexes and bone structure, have been told I'm the best man they had in bed, have a growing Instagram following, come from a very influential New England family and perhaps my only flaw is I am, genetically speaking, borderline perfect (why is this a "flaw" well because I didn't have to work for it). If you're interested add me, I'd love to fly you out to Washington D.C. and show you the place; I'm quite the catch and to say you'd be missing out is an understatement because I would treat you like a queen, I'd go to war for you and catch a bullet as well. Best wishes.