Nonce

⧹╲⎝⧹ ⎠╱⧸⎠ YOU DON'T GET TO TENTACLE ME OCTO-CHAN! ⧹╲⎝⧹ ⎠╱⧸⎠

+Rep After a good game in csgo, I added him because he seemed like a cool guy. We got chatting, over the next couple of months we became good friends. Lots of banter, lots of great CS and most importantly true friendship.
We'd been friends for nearly 2 years now so I invited him to my house for a csgo lan party. He said he was going to come so I was looking forward to meeting him in real life.
When he arrived at my house, he pushed me hard against the wall and started licking my neck, I felt his warm firm ♥♥♥♥ push against my leg.
Turns out he was ♥♥♥. Don't trust this guy.

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▄▄▄▌▐██▌█ ♥♥♥ ♥♥♥♥ delivery
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The real reason you can't invade Australia is because it doesn't exist. Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.

Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.

If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.

The real reason you can't invade Australia is because it doesn't exist. Australia is not real. It’s a hoax, made for us to believe that Britain moved over their criminals to someplace. In reality, all these criminals were loaded off the ships into the waters, drowning before they could see land ever again. It’s a coverup for one of the greatest mass murders in history, made by one of the most prominent empires.

Australia does not exist. All things you call “proof” are actually well fabricated lies and documents made by the leading governments of the world. Your Australian friends? They’re all actors and computer generated personas, part of the plot to trick the world.

If you think you’ve ever been to Australia, you’re terribly wrong. The plane pilots are all in on this, and have in all actuality only flown you to islands close nearby – or in some cases, parts of South America, where they have cleared space and hired actors to act out as real Australians.