HITMAN's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 2:15pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 2:13pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 3:27pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 3:16pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 27 Nov, 2019 @ 1:54am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 18 Dec, 2019 @ 3:27am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 3:26pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 3:47pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:00pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 6:37am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2019 @ 9:12am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2019 @ 4:27pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2019 @ 1:44pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 6:26am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:31pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 6:38am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2019 @ 3:08pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:00pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 3:19pm

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 3:50pm

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 3:46pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 12:26am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 6:10am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 3:49pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2019 @ 2:45pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 6:07am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 2:06pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:27pm

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:28pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 3:53pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:32pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 11:58pm

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2019 @ 4:32pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 2:11pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 11:33pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 6:30am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 1:42pm

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 12:11am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 17 Dec, 2019 @ 3:42pm

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 3:44pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 3:42pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 6:39am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 1:50pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 3:38pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 3:16pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 1:41pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 1:45pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 1:42pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 3:29pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 4:21pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 30 Nov, 2019 @ 3:42pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 3:57pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 1 Dec, 2019 @ 2:54pm

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 4:06pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 4:12pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 3:19pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2019 @ 3:08pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 3 Dec, 2019 @ 4:42am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 2:33pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 24 May, 2020 @ 1:25am

Gary vs. The K. Man

Discovered the Gary vs. Krotchy arena during the Apocalypse.

Unlocked 7 Dec, 2019 @ 2:17pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 29 Nov, 2019 @ 3:02pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 19 Dec, 2019 @ 1:47pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 21 Nov, 2024 @ 9:12pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 2 Dec, 2019 @ 11:40pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

60 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30