Recent reviews by John's Wick

When I first bought it, the game looked like it had some serious potential. Now here we are, a few months later, and I can't get through 20 minutes without it dropping to 5 fps, randomly crashing, or punishing me for trying to walk around by breaking my legs. With both legs broken, I can't move faster than an ultra-slow crawl, and there is nothing that I can do to to heal myself. If I want to respawn, I'll have to die first. Sounds pretty easy, right? Nope. Want to jump off a building? You can try, but apparenty having broken legs means you're now immune to fall damage. I slowly crawl around, desparate for a solution to my agony, and after 15 minutes I finally find a zombie. What a relief, surely he will put me out of my misery. Ha, no. Zombies are apparently blind to aything that doesn't have functioning kneecaps. My only hope is to wait for a merciful player to emerge from the woods and kindly beat me to death with my hockey stick (the latest and greatest new content!). Unfortunately for me, the maps are about the size of Russia, and there are about one extended family's-worth of players to populate it. So for now, I shall sit and wait. I'll wait for them to add a feature that allows me to pound my head into the pavement until I lose consciousness. Until then, I'll be doing the same on my computer keyboard.