I need to accelerate my gooning. I need to be gooning at a pace most people would find concerning. Goonable content is being created at a pace so far beyond my current rate of consumption, I'm losing ground and letting down myself, my family, my ancestors, and my heroes. I need to become the connoseur of gooning-- a goonoseur, if you will. A gooner so prolific and talented that I inspire a new generation of gooners to never give up on their dreams of gooning and edging to every piece of content in real time as it is created.

But we can go beyond that... I want to goon to content before it even gets created. Before its even conceived. I need to presciently goon to the vacuum of nonmatter that precedes a new idea. I need to goon to the tendrils of fate connecting each atom of matter as they execute gods plan. I need to goon to the flames of celestial fire which illuminate the platonically idealized matter whose shadows we call reality. I need to goon to the face of god and the soul of the universe. I need to become the prime gooner, the one who gooned before time existed. The one who will goon after time ends. The one who is with goon. The one who is of goon. The one who IS goon.