Steam Community :: RANDOM CHIMP EVENT

Lil' Blue 13 Dec, 2024 @ 3:43pm

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Sudworthy 2 Jun, 2023 @ 4:09am

Public Warning: Owner of This Profile is a liberal and has posted on numerous left aligned steam communities. Please do not Rate his posts and remember to report suspicious activity.

I am not a bot. I am a Volunteer Steam Community Moderator. I do not have mod powers but my reports are taken seriously and those who get on my bad side tend to get banned in under 24 hours. I have numerous rules, which you may read in my profile, but 1 is the most important rule of all:

• ⁠I am an officer in training, and I expect to be treated the same way I would be with my uniform and badge. So watch your back and get used to this face kiddo, you’ll be seeing a lot of it.

~ Honorary Volunteer Steam Community Moderator

Sudworthy 18 Aug, 2022 @ 8:34am

Hello Twig, I noticed you have a profile picture of a very beautiful (but also intelligent looking!) female, and I am under the presumption that this godess is you? It is quite astonishing to see a female here on Steam. I'm quite popular around here, so if you require guidance, please throw me a mention. I will assist you at any hour, day or night. And, before you are mistaken, I do not seek your hand in a romantic way; although I am not opposed in the event you are interested in me, as many women often are. I'm a man of standard, and I do not bow to just any female that comes my way, unlike my peers. So rest assured that I will not be in the way of your gaming and socializing experience. Consider me a Player 2. a companion, a partner, and perhaps we can enjoy some video games together. I see you play dota 2, are you good at ability draft? I am an AD aficionado, so I would be happy to assist you in games. Platonically of course, unless you (like many others) change your mind on that.

Sudworthy 1 Aug, 2022 @ 9:13am

It's not cool to tell the truth Twi. He doesn't even wear a suit!

Lil' Blue 30 Jul, 2022 @ 10:37am

I've become so much like Eren Jaeger it's scary.
I wear black cardigans, verbally assault women, and physically assault my friends.
When I look in the mirror, I can't help but say "戦い, 戦い" (which means fight fight in american.)
I grew my hair out long because I don't care so now I have to wear it in a bun and I don't care what people think so shut the ♥♥♥♥ up Hange.
I always leave an open wound on my hand, and go out of my way to show it to everyone so they are reminded that I am in control.
When I see dogs being taken on walks I get mad at them for not being free like I am.
I can't have sex with my girlfriend anymore without forcing her to dress up as Mikasa or Historia, both of whom remind me of Armin.
When I order fast food, I refuse to call them french fries and insist on calling them freedom fries.
I just keep moving forward, until my enemies are destroyed.

Sudworthy 12 Jul, 2022 @ 1:11pm

hey, sorry i saw your profile and i just thought you looked cute in your picture, i really wanted to tell you that)) it's really rare to see girls playing video games haha! i don't know its a guy thing honestly im like really against misogyny and like ill be the one in the kitchen making sandwhiches. we should really play l4d2 sometimes its a really cool zombie game with a lot fo scary moments, but dont worry ill be there to protect you ;) sorry that wasnt flirting i swear im just trying to be friendly i really like your profile picture sorry was that too far? really sorry im really shy i don't go out much haha add me on skype we should talk more you look really nice and fun xxx

Sudworthy 2 Jun, 2022 @ 3:33pm

⠸⡸⠜⠕⠕⠁⢁⢇⢏⢽⢺⣪⡳⡝⣎⣏⢯⢞⡿⣟⣷⣳⢯⡷⣽⢽⢯⣳⣫⠇
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Sudworthy 6 Aug, 2021 @ 11:13am

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smart fella or fart smella 16 Feb, 2021 @ 2:50pm

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Flob 20 Oct, 2020 @ 3:39pm

It all started on May 15th 2004. As you can probably guess, I (420 months old) was watching Ukranian singer Ruslana bust out a filthy performance of "Wild Dances" for the Eurovision Song Contest Finale. I could feel a chub ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on, but by the 69th smack of her tambourine it had turned into a beast of an erection. At first I tried to fight it back down. Yet, after 3 hours of meditation, listening to NPR, and replaying that one scene from The Passion of the Christ where Jesus gets nailed to the cross over and over, I realized this was no ordinary boner...

This was an everlasting knob-whopper.

Flob 20 Oct, 2020 @ 3:39pm

I decided to keep it going as long as possible. Maybe get into the Guinness Book of World Records and finally prove to my deadbeat father that I was more than just "what you'd get if an autistic moose broke into a Taco Bell storeroom and subsequently cloned itself with ♥♥♥♥."

Here is a list of the times it was hardest to stay erect (in order):

1. When Bush got re-elected

2. My grandma's funeral

3. Had a nightmare where I was the middle dude in the human centipede (this was before I learned to lucid dream)

4. Homeless guy kicked me in the nuts after I got kidnapped by gang members, tortured, and tossed out of a moving truck in the rain.

5. Colonoscopy

Flob 20 Oct, 2020 @ 3:39pm

On the other hand, I came way too close to nutting when:

1. A stranger unexpectedly smacked my ass in Target when I bent down to look for stray quarters

2. Prostate exam in '09 (didn't know there were girl doctors - was caught off guard)

3. Watching the Dark Knight

4. When the cashier looked at me for more than 2 seconds in the checkout line at Spencers holding the mega thicc 19" monster dildo I bought.

5. When I came 69th in a Fortnite match (highest score ever)

Last night I finally decided to end it after watching my fave Only Fans performer lick jam off her feet for half an hour. The release was monstrous. My penis contracted so hard my shaft vacuum sealed and caused such pressure to build up that the next jizz rocket slammed a hole through my ceiling. I blacked out after that, and woke up in a pool of my own brogurt dazed and confused, but somehow, at peace.

Then I got thrown out of the Starbucks.