"I don't know how to put this but I'm kind of a big deal. I have many leather-bound books and my apartment smells of rich mahogany."

I had friends once. Those were the days long ago.

I remember the morning it happened. I laid there in my bed, the warm morning sun just breaking through my curtains igniting the room in a warm orange glow. It was this day that would forever change my life as I knew it.

It started off like any other day, logged onto the computer, booted up some minesweeper, and started to hack away at those little boxes. 9 hours later, 3 boxes left, on the largest game I had ever played, and BOOM! That bomb, that damn bomb, ruined it all. I vowed to seek revenge against everyone that uses a computer from then on. Everyone must feel my pain.

Here I sit, waiting, sniper rifle on my shoulder, hoping you cross my path so that you too can feel my pain.