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i cast mold earth repeatedly until the town collapsed into a sinkhole. buried the bbeg’s lair under 600 feet of dirt and zoning violations. tpk’d the party because they wouldn’t leave the tavern in time. when the dm tried to deus ex machina it with a god, i seduced the god. not with a roll. with pure, uncut, feral roleplay. i meowed. i barked. i gave them backstory trauma so intense it looped into comedy and back to tragedy.
i spent two hours narrating a dance off with a tree. the dm said “why.” i said “why not.” now the campaign is over. the dm’s moved. the discord server is gone. i am alone. but i am victorious.
i did it. i finally won d&d.
dude has hard downs.