ThePostalGamer's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2015 @ 11:57pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:20am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2015 @ 12:00am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 21 Jan @ 6:45pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 4:47am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2018 @ 2:13am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:34am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 6:22am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 9:28pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 6:30am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 8:01am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 8:58am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2018 @ 2:30am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 6:59am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 6:30am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 6:53am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 21 Jan @ 6:35pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 8:57pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 21 Jan @ 6:49pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:10am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:18am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 22 Jan @ 5:39pm

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 6:45am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 22 Jan @ 4:00pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 6:54am

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2018 @ 2:33am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:13am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 6:26am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2015 @ 11:36pm

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 8:30am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 6:31am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 4:36am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:43am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2015 @ 11:35pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 4:49am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2015 @ 11:36pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 12:00am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 26 Jul, 2018 @ 8:48am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 5:32am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 25 Jul, 2018 @ 6:57am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 27 Jul, 2018 @ 2:33am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 24 Jan @ 3:27am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 24 Jan @ 8:34pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 25 Jan @ 10:18pm

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Unlocked 4 Feb @ 6:40pm

PooMasher

Bought the toilet paper instead of stealing it.

Unlocked 24 Jan @ 8:26pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 25 Jan @ 9:47pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

26 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

1 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

10 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

12 / 30

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

8 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

3 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

50 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

8 / 30