Recent reviews by Medi

Only play this at night, alone, no distractions, lights optional. Some of the more open areas may be a bit of a chore to navigate early on but if you settle in and sink into the dream logic I think you'll feel something strange, scary, and wonderful even if your words fail to map what that feeling is. Just remember, if it looks like there's no way out, wake up.

my life be like oooooh aaaaaahhh

lo-fi horror like this scares me so i had to play windowed with weezer playing to beat it

"The Devil's eating ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the suburbs"

words to live by, this ♥♥♥♥ like heroin to me

stacked so many items in endless mode that i came to possess a vicious god hand that would one tap anything like brad pitt in snatch. eventually i became so powerful that i begged the evil wizard who had granted me the capital for the upgrades to kill me and save me from myself. i died, and then i got up.

10/10 peak as hell i want to shower this team in money

The world beyond our dreams entered our reach. The children playing make believe. The old who thought it was magic. The lonely in need of company. The loved who lended their hand. The ghosts in the chainmail we almost wanted to believe in. The hackers who saw the strings and tugged at them. The developers trying to build utopia look back and realize they’ve only built more walls. The promises of the old internet, all broken.

Y2K. You let us down.

You let us
Down, Down, Down,

Down, Down, Down


Down, Down,




Down.

Not without it's charms but ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ is it waaaaaaaaaayy too long in the tooth. There's about two hours of actual story material and everything inbetween is just the nemesis system filling the blanks. First act is a bore, second act is more fun but overlong, and by the time the epilogue gauntlet of missions comes down it just feels like too much of a grind to bother finishing. If this were only slightly less grindy it would be a fine game but it throws away all its good will by the closing hours. Burnt out, had to drop.

When I was a young boy
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band
He said, "Son, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The beaten and the damned?"
He said, "Will you defeat them?
Your demons, and all the non-believers
The plans that they have made?"
"Because one day, I'll leave you a phantom
To lead you in the summer
To join the black parade"

When I was a young boy
My father took me into the city
To see a marching band

He said, "Son, when you grow up
Would you be the savior of the broken
The beaten and the damned?"

Sometimes I get the feelin'
She's watchin' over me
And other times I feel like I should go
And through it all, the rise and fall
The bodies in the streets
And when you're gone, we want you all to know

We'll carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on

We'll carry on
And in my heart, I can't contain it
The anthem won't explain it

A world that sends you reelin'
From decimated dreams
Your misery and hate will kill us all
So paint it black and take it back
Let's shout it loud and clear
Defiant to the end, we hear the call

To carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on

We'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches

On and on, we carry through the fears
Oh, ah, ha
Disappointed faces of your peers
Oh, ah, ha
Take a look at me, 'cause I could not care at all

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part

I won't explain or say I'm sorry
I'm unashamed, I'm gonna show my scars
Give a cheer for all the broken
Listen here, because it's who we are

Just a man, I'm not a hero
Just a boy, who had to sing this song
Just a man, I'm not a hero
I don't care

We'll carry on, we'll carry on
And though you're dead and gone, believe me
Your memory will carry on

You'll carry on
And though you're broken and defeated
Your weary widow marches, oh

Do or die, you'll never make me
Because the world will never take my heart
Go and try, you'll never break me
We want it all, we wanna play this part (we'll carry on)
Do or die, you'll never make me (we'll carry on)
Because the world will never take my heart (we'll carry on)
Go and try, you'll never break me (we'll carry on)
We want it all, we wanna play this part (we'll carry on!)

Okay, where to start? Unfortunately what many call Bloober Team’s best isn’t very good.

A decent opening and the gameplay loop of checking in on tenants works as a good hook. Though the plot moved at a slow pace from me taking my time with the side stuff, the first half felt much more engaging than the latter.

The side content here is the highlight, with some stronger (but still derivative) ideas than the main story being allowed to come and go like short stories that don’t waste your time. Once you reach a point of no return however, you’re basically following a straight line through an exhaustingly long haunted house where the game continues to try and one up itself with the dream eater sequences.

The first of these sequences I saw made a good first impression with an environment made from what looks like broad paint strokes, a blunt but expressive way of contrasting this fractured childish mind from the reality you lose touch with. The following dream sequences really begin to drag with unintuitive puzzles, obnoxious and downright silly scares. Did I mention this game is too long? I would probably at least like this game if it was two hours shorter.

Narratively it’s a series of vignettes that play out back to back until the main story takes the wheel and railroads you. Unfortunately the structure that makes the side content stand out completely kneecaps the core narrative because there’s essentially no narrative clarity until the last act and then it rushes to resolve the personal stakes at the last minute. It doesn’t help that everything going on art direction wise feels like a ripoff of something else.

Truly some baby’s first cyberpunk kind of stuff going on here. Some shallow anti-corporate stuff, generic police state (1984 copy on a shelf made me gag), sexbot ethics, transhumanism, mishandled mental illness narratives, a collage of familiar ideas given no room to be fleshed out. If Bloober Team deals in haunted house attractions, this is a limited event on their lot where they swap the old paintings for holograms and coat their skeleton props in chrome paint. It doesn’t help that they can’t tell when the screaming and showers of fake blood get old.

I feel bad. I liked this enough in the early hours but then the game went and spoiled all the good will it built at the end. The game brings out some pity in me, mostly thanks to Rutger Hauer’s presence. Hauer obviously thrives more as a screen actor than a voice actor, but in spite of some weird deliveries the frail ache of his voice carries a kindness in it that you hate to see punished. It’s a shame really, the man deserved better than this.

Rest in Peace, Mr, Hauer.

Orby is my husband and I cherish him enough to restart the whole of Act 1 just to help him find my truck as his satellite flies over head