31
Products
reviewed
339
Products
in account

Recent reviews by @RealJadenSmith

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Showing 1-10 of 31 entries
No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
20.8 hrs on record
It's pretty good, but it asks for confirmation when you try to use Alt+F4.

And I refuse to give a positive review to any software that doesn't obey Alt+F4 immediately.
Posted 21 April.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
246.9 hrs on record
This is the game I refer to whenever I'm talking about value in video games.
The amount of high-quality content & features in this game, and the amount of time you can spend engaging in it, is absurd for the game's price.

Any time there's a new game that costs $69 + tax, I point at Stardew Valley and say "Just buy that."
Any time someone tries to justify why any game needs to cost over $100 per copy, I point to Stardew Valley and say "I don't believe you."
Any time someone claims you can't expect a developer/publisher to support a game after its launch, I point to Stardew Valley and ask "is that a joke?"

For the record though, if you're just looking to relive your Harvest Moon nostalgia, that series has been renamed to Story of Seasons in North America and has modern ports available.
Stardew Valley is a major step up from them, but also has a much broader scope than those games aimed for, which may not appeal to old Harvest Moon fans.
Posted 28 March. Last edited 28 March.
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25 people found this review helpful
62.1 hrs on record
Early Access Review
The most impressive example of a branching narrative I have ever seen in a video game format.
There are large branches, medium branches, small branches, teeny twigs, and you're given a selection of traits at the beginning of the game that so heavily affect how you experience the plot that they would best be described as entire tree trunks in this analogy.
And we're not just talking small background details & dialogue flavours; we're talking entire subplots changing direction or involving different characters, we're talking the presence/absence of major characters at major events and that affecting how other characters perceive those events, we're talking a bag of boiled peanuts that's drippy and a little gross.

Now I know what you're thinking: "But @RealJadenSmith, that gives me anxiety, because now I have to play the game a specific way to get an ending the developers actually put effort into!"
Yeah. Me too, that's the worst.
But you don't have to worry about that here.
I'm about 30 hours of actual gametime into the episode 4 release, and every single set of traits and decisions I've made has felt at least somewhat fulfilling. Each one has also contributed uniquely to my understanding of the setting & story, which is a real joy to experience in a game where the way you interact with each character makes them feel like their own unreliable mini-narrator.

But also, the game isn't done.
If you want a game that's done, take a look at Slay the Princess, made by the same people. It's shorter with less complex branching, but is fully voice acted and amazing.
Posted 6 March. Last edited 6 March.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
22.3 hrs on record (3.2 hrs at review time)
I don't have the words to describe how good this game is, or how excited I am for the free Pristine Cut update coming soon.

I'm just floored by how this game's narrative, artwork, voice acting, and music came together to affect me emotionally.
Within two days, I no longer had to debate about what my favourite game ever is: this is it. There's no argument anymore.
This is also one of those games that benefits greatly from knowing as little as possible about it beforehand, so I'm not going to tell you about the plot.

What I will tell you is:
1) I have constant anxiety about picking the "right" path or a "good" path in games that are heavily story-based. I don't want to pick Option B if the writers obviously put all their effort into Option A.
2) This game was designed from the beginning with the intention of making every path valid and fulfilling; it tells you right on boot-up that "There are no premature endings. There are no wrong decisions. There are only fresh perspectives and new beginnings."
3) I've scoured every route in the game out of sheer fascination with the narrative, and I can confirm, there are no premature endings, and no wrong decisions.

It's that "no wrong decisions" philosophy, along with the absolutely stellar artwork/music/voice acting, that turn this game from a fascinating story into an emotional & personal journey of discovery for anyone who plays it.


If you can spare the cash, I really do think you owe it to yourself to play this game.
If you can't spare the cash, it's worth wishlisting it and waiting for a sale.
Posted 5 January. Last edited 7 April.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
1 person found this review funny
3.1 hrs on record
Early Access Review
I was okay with the murder.
I was okay with the dry soup.
I was okay with dismemberment.
I was okay with the cannibalism.
I was okay with storing body parts.
I was okay with the murder (again).
I was okay with the exorcising of souls.
I was okay with the sale of said souls.
I was okay with the murder (again, again).
I was okay with the intensely abusive relationships.
I was okay with the description of spine removal.
I was okay with the prying of teeth out of boiled skulls.
I was okay with the blending of organs into a crimson smoothie.
I was okay with the sale of a son and daughter to an organ harvesting operation.

But I draw the line at incest, how abhorrently disgusting >:C
Posted 4 January.
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2 people found this review helpful
73.8 hrs on record
Yet another platform fighter with less depth to its engine than Smash 64.
Posted 24 November, 2023.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
193.4 hrs on record (13.0 hrs at review time)
The stealth mechanics are wonderful, but there's just so little content.
Get it on sale for a good 50% or 70% off.
Otherwise just get Payday 2 for its full price of $10.

Payday 3 isn't the absolute jank-fest that Payday 2 is. It feels very good to play, and the centralised servers do away with a lot of connection jank.
But it also has maybe one tenth the number of missions to play compared to Payday 2.
Payday 3's stealth beats the hell out of Payday 2's stealth, but Payday 2's loud tactics beat the hell out of Payday 3's loud tactics.
Payday 3 isn't bad, it's just very hard to recommend it when it's 4 times the price of Payday 2 with significantly less content.

It's worth noting too that you'll mostly be playing with console players. The Steam player count is currently sitting between 200 and 300.
This is because the console versions of Payday 2 are a notorious dumpster-fire compared to the Steam version, leading to this weird situation where Payday 2 is the generally preferred option on PC and Payday 3 is the generally preferred option on console.
This isn't really a good thing or a bad thing, just a weird thing.
Posted 24 September, 2023. Last edited 1 April.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
40.2 hrs on record (22.1 hrs at review time)
It's hard to decide whether to review Skyrim VR positively or negatively:
- As a modding platform, Bethesda has provided something amazing for a highly customised VR experience.
- As its own un-modded game, it's extremely underwhelming, and may be unplayable depending on your VR setup.

I'm choosing to review the product negatively, because I truly don't think you should it unless you know exactly what you're signing up for.
On the other hand, if you do know what you're signing up for, you'll know why it's worth buying despite the mixed reviews.
Posted 1 October, 2022.
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1 person found this review helpful
1 person found this review funny
6.2 hrs on record (5.1 hrs at review time)
I ain't paying an extra 10 bucks for the option to not watch the entire Time Spy demo every time I run the benchmark.
Posted 25 September, 2022.
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No one has rated this review as helpful yet
193.6 hrs on record
Ubisoft serially employs and protects abusers.


I've also chosen to take it personally that Ubisoft hasn't given me a free upgrade to the base version of the game.
Still riding on that $20 starter edition that came out a little after launch; got like 8 characters to pick from if you combine both attack and defence.
Posted 14 September, 2021. Last edited 14 September, 2021.
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Showing 1-10 of 31 entries