Recent reviews by I LOVE THE WASHNING MASHING

Fun to play with a friend or significant other! Requires a bit of brainpower so don't think this'll reward you for trial and error.

Also I'm fairly certain all the negative reviews are from people who couldn't escape and are complaining about it being too hard.

I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate this game, and I can't wait to play it again.

It literally deleted $60 worth of DLC that I paid for.

I never thought sliding and jumping would be such a means of transportation.

Great Game

I think I'm a trained killer now

Tried making the biggest baddest khajiit out there

End up shorter than 9/10s of the population of Tamriel

I can throw my sword. +1
I can throw my gun. +1
I can throw my shield like Captain America , make it bounce off and kill 2 enemies, and ricochet into my hand again. +1
I can throw circular blades that seek out enemies. +1
I can throw bombs. +1
I can throw black holes. +1
I can throw balls that electrocute enemies on command. +1
I can throw a grappling hook and parkour across the map Titanfall 2 style. +1
I can throw poison darts. +1
I can throw shurikens that never lose velocity. +1

I cannot, however, throw the enemies. -10

0/10

Well, this game is certainly an emotional journey if you get into it.

...SPOILERS AHEAD...

After being stuck on the pod few a few days and barely getting by with the fish I was hunting, I recieved a comms message from a ship that was coming to pick me up. I was so happy. They told me they would be there in 2 days, so I was sure to pack up food and water and make a seaglide to go to the drop zone, which was the only solid piece of land for miles. At a half-day left before the ship arrived I was off on my seaglide to the strip of land and made good time, I had 5 minutes to spare before the ship got there to rescue me from that rock of a planet. When I got to the island, I noticed a large man-made structure. I had no idea what it was, so I went inside of it to have a look-see until the ship got there. My built in computer was telling me that if I were to shut down the structure, I would have to reach the control room in the center. I thought to myself "why would I need to do that?" The hip was going to be there in about a minute and I walk back outside to listen to the ships captain's awestruck voice that someone actually survived down here. Then, I turned toward the structure, and a lump formed in my throat. The tower-like end of the structure extended into what looked like an Anti-Air cannon. I immediately sprinted back into the structure and ran through multiple halls and rooms as fast as I could, only to find that the main control room was blocked off by an energy field. The ship's captain started to sound uneasy as he question a red light on the surface of the planet. Then I felt the structure shake, a loud popping noise, and then static as my rescue just got blown to bits. Now I'm on my way back to my pod to attempt to make contact with any other ships.

I started off riding a very slow camel-dog hybrid type thing... Now I ride like a king on my giant ♥♥♥♥ing hotdog.