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Japan 
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There is a growing epidemic of Steam account hijacks, stolen Steam accounts are messaging online friends asking them to vote for CS:GO/DOTA2 events, these are all scams that will steal your info! If someone messages you this, get in contact with the friend through alternative means if you can, so they can get their account back. And if you have not yet, activate 2FA!!
I mean, come on Nintendo. The guy is casually jumping over three times his height, which is more than double the world record. With this kind of performance, it would make sense for him to have a tonic, juicy back. But no, he's flatter than my hope in humanity.
Moreover, he's Italian. Have you ever seen an Italian ass? That premium quality dump? Right now, Mario might be the only flat-assed Italian in existence, I swear.
In the past, I have dreamt multiple times about the Mario movie. I've fantasized about his balloonish glutei maximi suffocating Bowser to death. Only to flee the self-destruction of the castle by bouncing on that soft but massive arse.
But no, Nintendo had to make it SJW friendly. "Not every Italian has a dump truck ass", they said. "He's representing the normality of plumbers' asses".
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