Honse » Games » Genital Jousting Stats

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13 of 28 (46%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Go Left

Move to the left.
Unlocked 2 Jul, 2018 @ 11:41pm

Go Right

Move to the right.
Unlocked 2 Jul, 2018 @ 11:41pm

Summer Job

Reminisce about your care-free days as a cactus picker.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 12:20am

Fire Inspector

Safely deploy all the fire extinguishers. For safety.
Unlocked 2 Jul, 2018 @ 11:52pm

Self Defence

Use the cake knife to defend yourself from wedding guests.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 2:40pm

Swan Tamer

Make peace with a gaggle of swans. Their natural instinct is to kill.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 2:41pm

Bulking Gear

Use all the "supplements" you can for maximal gains.
Unlocked 6 Jul, 2018 @ 9:08pm

Clumsy

Die a lot of times in your nightmares.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 2:58pm

A Better John

Start taking responsibility for you actions.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 3:33pm

Generous Lover

Finish last in a Party Mode game.
Unlocked 6 Jul, 2018 @ 10:00pm

My Precious

Get all of the rings in Lord of the Rings.
Unlocked 6 Jul, 2018 @ 9:57pm

Till Death Do Us

Have sex in the Date Night graveyard.
Unlocked 3 Jul, 2018 @ 3:45pm

Autopaedicatio

Penetrate yourself in Traditional Mode.
Unlocked 6 Jul, 2018 @ 9:48pm



Most Improved Tapulator

Learn how to literally just navigate the main menu.

Early Bird

Swallow every worm.

Sleep No More

Don't let sleeping dongs lie.

Paperwork

Submit your monthly physical report.

Popcorn Buffet

Eat a disgusting amount of popcorn.

Master Unlocker

Collect enough milk to fill the tank.

Couch Party

Have enough friends and enough controllers to play an 8 player game.

Always Finishes First

Good at video games. Terrible at sex.

Spare Wheel

Be the only one locked out of an ouroborus.

The Perfect Partner

Marry yourself in Abstinence.

Magnetic Basshole

Win Lights Out in under five seconds.

Safety First

Everyone survives having sex in a trash-compactor full of needles.

Fussy Lover

Save yourself for that special orgy.
+2

2 hidden achievements remaining

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