Recent reviews by Stew Ben

I'm gonna tell my kids this was solitaire

actually the enemy is an alien

light of my life, fire of my loins. my sin, my soul.

failed college

My Grandfather smoked his entrie life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, "if you want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately." Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me: "Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family what your grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because this game gave me cancer anyway.

WHEN THIS BABY HITS 10000KMH, YOU'RE GOING TO SEE SOME SERIOUS ♥♥♥♥

There were boobs.

10/10

Failed college

10/10

I don't really know what I'm doing in this game, but I build rockets for little green men who are somewhat remeniscent of the minions from Despicable Me and I doom them to horribly adorable deaths with my poorly thought-out engineering. It's all very satisfying. 10/10 would buy again.

DIS ♥♥♥♥♥ BE ♥♥♥♥♥♥' CRAZY, MAN. SHE FIRE A NINE DAT MAKE DEM SHWOOPY-HOLES AN' ♥♥♥♥. DEN SHE JUMP THROUGH AND JUST GO FLYIN' ALL OVER THE PLACE, BREAKIN' GRAVITY AND ♥♥♥♥. AND DAT CRAZY ROBOT ♥♥♥♥♥? ♥♥♥♥, MAN. SHE BE VENGEFUL AS ♥♥♥♥. YOU BETTA WATCH YO' SHWOOPY-DOOPIN' PUZZLE-SOLVIN' ASS, Y'HEAR?