7 years since you passed away went by recently and I thought of you. it hurts less every year but it still hurts. you still show up in my dreams sometimes.

things are okay. I started to read Homestuck again a few months ago. the website version of it sucks now so the best way to read it is to download something from Github. it's actually pretty nice knowing I'll always have this wonderful comic downloaded

thinking of you

Last Online 2342 days ago

thinking of you
I miss you

I never read your description until now, LOL
that's funny

1826 days offline... :(

Hi Chris, stopping by to say that I miss you. Hope you're resting well.

Hello, I'm on Parris Island.

Hello, I'm in Atlanta.

Yeah.

merry krimblton

No more will my green sea go turn a deeper blue.
I could not foresee this thing happening to you.

Away down South, there's this little place called Dixie.
You've not heard of it, not many talk about it. But my goodness, what a place.

I'll always regret not having allowed myself to love you like the brother you were to me. I'll always have trouble forgiving myself for allowing my fear trouble the waters of my emotions. I'll never have someone like you in my life again, and I'll always have trouble forgiving myself for not seeing that in the folly of my youth.

There's laughter, there's music, there's life.
I imagine this is the kind of place you would want to be remembered in.

Slanté, mo chara mhaith.

I don't know what thoughts ran through your mind in your final moments.
Indomitable as you were, I can't imagine you faced your fate with anything more than patient curiosity.

Forgiving myself has been the hardest thing I've ever done.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-21SKg2xAdI

It's weird having things be so good, man.
For the longest time it's been easier to hurt, more convenient to struggle. It's weird being happy, it's strange feeling like I've got a soul again. I'm not tired anymore. What a helluva time I've had, what a helluva of a life.
Can't wait to tell you all about it.
I'm gonna make it man, I can't believe I'm gonna make it.

As the souls of the dead live for'er in my mind
As I live all the years that they left me behind
I'll stay on the shore but still gaze at the sea
I remember the fallen and they think of me
For our souls in the ocean together will be

I started dating an English major some time ago. She writes poetry. It's beautiful, more so then she allows herself to realize.
I've wanted to attempt such a fine art, but I fear the limits of human language would do my grief a deep disservice.

Days like today, when my wisdom is not enough, is when I miss you most.

After the move I'd been without a microphone for some time. I got on Discord for the first time in a while. I hadn't realize it had been 2 years since I spoke with my friends.
They said I sounded like I'd aged 10 years. I said I felt older still.
Man, I ain't changed...but I know I ain't the same.

Hello, I'm in Atlanta.
It's crazy, man. I don't know if I ever told you about this place, I know we discussed the Civil War. I wish I had then understood the magnitude of what happened here. I've been taught an appreciation of peace and humbleness I'm convinced you always quietly retained. They throw fantastic parties here. The kind you'd find two idiots standing in the corner talking about video games, being generally uncool together. The people here are kind, but there is a tension that divides them. That American pride, or maybe even their vanity. I wish I had your perspective. I wish you could see this place. I wish I knew what to tell you.
O' Chris, I'm in Atlanta, still staring at this same dark sky of dying light, without you.

I miss you so much, Chris.
Always and forever.

Unus vicit, nunc volant.
Rest now, my beloved darling.

O' Chris, had I been by your side when you fell I'm not sure what I would have done. Perhaps by sheer rage I'd have been able to stay the hand of fate maybe just a bit longer, for so mighty has my grief been that even a god might find fear in my burning indignation. How lost I have felt.

Forgive me, my dear, for lifting my eyes to the horizon and hoping that someday, through all that has transpired in the last 3 years, perhaps happiness can be found far beyond that horizon, in a place where you cannot be found. I pray to every god, mine, yours and that of those who have come here to read the mad ramblings of a man lost, wandering, searching for a love so incorruptible as ours, a man whos mind shattered in the unstoppable face of death. I pray you find victory is the house of Hades. I pray we meet again, somewhere far beyond the horizon. Somewhere in a place where you can be found. I pray we find Her. I pray you each, all of you, to find Nike.

I'm not sure how much longer I'll be here to sing about you, buddy. But, if heaven allows, it's a good enough purpose.

You wanna know what?
If they added Chris Tayor to Smash Ultimate?
...I'd consider it...

Heh.
Gamehalla.

I don't know what you went through, Chris. But I talk about you a lot, maybe more than I realize. When I talk I cry, but I can't help but smile. All I have of you is memories of getting drunk, playing Smash Brothers, that one night you me and Zach got hammered out of our brains and I attempted to play League of Legends and I can't even remember how well I did. Days in and days out riding that bus away from my house and towards yours so I could spend all day losing in Smash Bros to you or getting frustrated trying to play Mario because you thought it was funny. I still think of that laugh you had when I got killed by the first Goomba, that wasn't the first time that'd happened nor the last.


I miss you Chris. I hadn't told my mother how much I'd been struggling, I told her I was missing you more than words could say and she looked at me and just said he died like a year ago, I cried and cried and cried. I miss you. I miss my friend. Gods almighty do I ever miss my friend.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ek_WLfwmhh0

I don't know if I ever talked to you about my stepfather or what happened to him. When I remember my stepfather, a man who was a cop for 30 years the only thing I can remember is the 3 years I'd known him. He was tall and strong for some time, but one day he got a wound on his foot. He was diabetic.

I didn't think much of it, surely a 50 year old cop had gotten a cut on his foot before. To make a long story short, over the course of 3 years I watched this Greek Hero of a man tumble further and further and further. I know you know what I'm talking about. When I think back on my stepfather all I can remember is a dying, bloated husk, barely holding on and barely being kept alive through desperate care.

Yesterday I saw a dragonfly flying North, towards the mountains.

I almost didn't cry today. Nike.

They announced Impa for Smash Ultimate yesterday. You cursed my inbox to eternally show Smash Bros content even though I'm pretty sure the last time I looked up anything for Smash Bros. was when you were here. I remember sitting in the dark of my room, hiding from whatever was happening outside my door, quietly watching video after video of how a light character could beat a heavy character in that game, I'm not convinced I ever got it but it felt good finally taking you down 2 stocks. I've never liked Smash Brothers, but I wasn't playing it for me, and that was a lot more fun.

You know, I'm not really sure if you and I ever spoke much about Greek mythology. I always had a mild, passing interest in it but never really invested much thought into it until recently. I've been reading an unabridged version of The Iliad and it's been extremely difficult for me to get through, not just because of its archaic way of presenting the story, but more because it's been hard reading of a man that finds out about his best friends death too far and too held up in his own struggles that he's not there when his friend falls. I've known the name Achilles for some time, I wish I'd known more of Patroclus.

Today's gonna be a good day, buddy.
Nike.

Hey Chris,

It's August. It's a nice day today. These have been nice days, these last couple. I miss you buddy. Should the stars go out tonight I could not miss them not one quarter of how much I miss you.

Things just got ♥♥♥♥♥♥ up, man.

Chris,

You were everything I ever needed in a time when there wasn't much to be had. I wish I'd gotten to know the person you'd be now.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MYU3F8uUGiw

I think about this a lot. I guess this is the new way of leaving flowers. There's all kinds of things that are new now, Chris. Everything's different and I'm here reading of times and aeons that they've spent doing the same things, but they're different now. Everything's different, I'm different. This modern world is dark, strange and we are collapsing. I wish you and I could talk about it. It's funny, I know it is, it's just nobody else seems to see it that way.

Hey buddy,

Other day some Euro came through and talked down his nose about fandubs because apparently he was some professional voice actor. I didn't really care. No idea where he went but man I wish I had someone to get indignant with.

I told someone today I knew there has to be an afterlife because we're a-live and so there has to be a b-live, right? They didn't seem to appreciate that. It sucks here without you dude. I miss being able to see the world in the beautiful ways you did.

Yo, Chris
Things are bad here.
I hope Valhalla isn't a cold place without me man, I'll be there soon. We're coming.
Vive Le Republique

https://youtu.be/Z3CnfFQENkw?t=399

Good news sir!

hi again. thought I'd update you on some more stuff.

Devil May Cry 5 is ... ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ amazing. and Vergil got a bit of a redemption arc, which is sick. he deserves one, let's be honest. Dan did a livestream with the people who run the DMC subreddit and accidentally leaked stuff, as usual. everything about it is good but unfortunately we might not be getting DLC :(

Joker is now out in Smash Ultimate and there's a meme where people line up his gunshot sounds with various songs (cuz his shooting is really rhythmic). people are joking that Bayo is his adoptive mom.

Sonic is getting a movie and they released the first trailer for it. people complained so much about his awful design that they're actually redoing his model. it's really funny. he's shaped like a child wearing a onesie.

thinking of you. love you.

hi chris! I hope you're resting well. I've been thinking about you every day as always.

I saw the new Spiderman movie today, the one about the massive Spiderman multiverse that you told me about occasionally. the main character is Miles Morales, and I knew you loved him a lot as a character so it was really cool to see him featured as the main character of a Spiderman movie!

we plan on getting your mom a big boquet of purple flowers for your birthday. we haven't told her this yet, so keep it a secret!

Smash Ultimate is really good btw. I don't know if the Nintendo rep told you, but the Joker from P5 was announced as a DLC character. it really upset me at first, and it still hurts because it's a reminder that you're gone. but I'm trying to stay positive.

anyways, I'll leave you be for now. I'm going to keep updating you on stuff that's happened lately that reminded me of you.

love you so much. I'll always have you in my thoughts.

miss you! thinking about you every day buddy :3

Rest in peace, man. You were always a good friend to me, even if we drifted apart after High School. I'm really glad you pulled me into seeing Infinity War with you back in May, so we could hang out one last time, even if neither of us knew that when we did. It's a really stark reminder just how fleeting life is, and that every day is a gift. I'll do my best to honor that, and live on with your memory. Be well. When I eventually wake up from the simulation, too, I hope you, Aura, Nicky and I can all go get milkshakes together.

Cheers
Kenny