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YOU HAVE JUST BEEN ♥♥♥♥♥ SLAPPED!!!!! YOU ARE NOW
OFFICIALLY MY ♥♥♥♥♥

YOU ARE NOW PLAYING THE ♥♥♥♥♥ SLAPPING GAME

RULES: REPOST THIS AND GET
YOUR OWN ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ BEFORE
THEY ARE ALL TAKEN BY
ME! YOU CAN’T SLAP ME BACK, I’M YO ♥♥♥♥♥ MASTER NOW

GOOD LUCK MY ♥♥♥♥♥!!!

‼️ITS🍗 SPANKSGIVING 🍂 ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥‼️On this day 🗓 many years ago 😮 the SLUTTY 👠 PILGRIMS 🎩 sailed ⛵️ across the ASSlantic 🌊 HOEcean in a quest 👀to find 🔎 more 😍 ♥♥♥♥♥ 🍆 to SUCK! 👅 Together with the 😈 NAUGHTY 😈 NATIVES 👹, they gathered 👫 around the dinner table 🍽 and had 🎉 our nation’s very 1️⃣st GANG BANG! 👯‍♀️👯👯‍♂️ We honor 🙌🏻 their ORGY 😮 every year 📆 by giving THANKS 🙏🏼 to all 🥰 that’s important ❤️ to us: Family 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦, Friends 👬, Freedom 🇺🇸, and ♥♥♥♥! 🍆🌽👅 So grab your BUNS, 🍞✊👉👌squeeze those BREASTS, 🍗🔥🤲 and shove a cornaCOPIOUS 🌽🌽 amount of ♥♥♥♥ 🍆 😩 into that hungry 😮 hungry HOLE! 🕳💓👅 Ladies 👯‍♀️, just like your 🦃 THOTSgiving 🦃 turkey, it’s time ⏰ to throw your legs 🤸🏼‍♀️in the air 🤸🏼‍♀️and prepare to get ➡️ STUFFED 🙀!

After dinner,🍴it’s time 😮 for CUMPKIN PIE!! 🥧 Show Daddy 👨🏽‍🦳 how 🙏🏼 thankful 🙏🏼 you are and LICKK 😛 his WishBONE 🦴 until he gets as HARD 🏔as PlyMOUTH rock ⛰ and shoots 💦 his HOMEADE GRAVY 🥣! 👅 Midnight 🌙 starts 😈 BLACK ⬛️ FRIDAY 🛍 so send 📤 this to 🔟 THOTS 💁🏻‍♀️you are thankful 🙏🏼 for! If you get 0️⃣ back, sail 🔙 to England 🖕🏻🤮 If you get 5️⃣ back, you’ll be getting your corn 🌽 CREAMED 😋🥰. Get 🔟 back or more, and the 🙀 BIGGEST, 🙀 GIRTHIEST, BLACK⚫️ FRIDAY 🍆 ♥♥♥♥ 😱 is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 💦YOUR WAY AT MIDNIGHT 🙀😍🙀😍🙀😍

So it seems you’ve tested positive for the Chinese virus, the so-called Covid NINETEEN, the Corona—nobody knows what to call it, quite frankly. It’s the most amazing thing, no one knew anything about Corona until a few weeks ago.

But the moment I heard about it—the Wuhan flu; it’s also the Wuhan, or WuHAAN—that’s a city in China. Many people don’t know that. But the moment I heard about this Chinese flu, I ordered a test. And it’s an amazing test. We do better testing than anywhere in the world. Some say the Germans have the best tests, but they don’t. Our tests are even better.

So you’re positive for Corona. And usually “positive” is a positive word—it’s a very good word, frankly. Everybody thinks it’s good, apart from what you hear on the news—which is fake.

It’s largely fake. But in medicine, “positive” is not so good. So it’s very confusing. And I’ve always been very clear about that. Some say “positive” is always good, but I’ve never agreed with that.

So you’re positive for the Corona. But you’ll be fine. Totally fine. You might think you’re going to die—and everybody does die, eventually. But you’ll be fine. You feel fine, right? You won’t need a ventilator. There are no ventilators—but you won’t need one.

How old are you, 55? You won’t need one. Some people need a ventilator, and they’re amazing machines. Did you know the first ventilator was made by Henry Ford? It’s an incredible piece of equipment. But you’ll be fine.

The virus gets into your lungs, which is where you breathe. But you have two of them. Some say you have a spare. Some people only have one lung. It’s true. But I don’t talk about spares. I always want both. Given a choice, I want two lungs.