Recent reviews by SomeHurt

If you didn't cry at the end, you're not a human.

John: John Ferdinand Jamison.

Cole: We need you to answer some questions, John.

John: If you don't mind, I prefer Ferdinand.

Rusty: Don't push your luck knucklehead.

Cole: What were you doing to the body, Ferdinand?

John: Are you sure you won't be upset?

Cole: Try me Ferdinand.

John: I was kissing her...

*Rusty Punches John*

John: It's not against the law! There's no law against it.

Rusty: Shut up and take your beating like a man!

Cole: Turn out your pockets Ferdinand.

*John gives Cole a lipstick*

Cole: Is this yours, Ferdinand?

John: No. I found it near her purse. I thought she could use some lipstick.

*Cole stops Rusty from punching John*

Cole: Rusty, stop! Don't hit him!

Cole: You found the body?

John: Yes, I did. I work here. I was coming off shift and headed home.

Cole: Why didn't you report the body, Jamison? Do you know how this is going to look to a jury?

John: A jury? What gives? I could tell that she was dead. I came through here about midnight last night, she wasn't here then.

Rusty: Let me belt him again.

Cole: You're under arrest, Jamison. We'll see how this plays out. Until then, you can think a little on how you'd like to be treated if you were found dead.

John: I'm telling you it's not ilegal! Me and some friends of mine...

*Rusty punches John again*

Rusty: Clyde, can you get this sack of ♥♥♥♥ into a cell? I'll deal with him later.

*Playing Co-Op with a friend*

*You see a weapon with good stats*

*Friend takes it*

*1 hour long argument starts*

10/10 would find others to play co-op with

Patrick Stewart told me that I am the one from his dreams

11/10

GF: I meet you at the party right?

Me: Yeah sure, just going to play one quick game, just 5 minutes.

GF: Okay, I meet you there!

-------5 Hours later------

*GF comes home angry*

GF: You didn't show up at the party! Where were you?!

Me: India is nuking my cities, Mongolia is attacking them and Zulu sold me out!

GF: What?

Me: But that's not really a problem, I am allied to England and Byzantine, Persia got nothing on us!

GF: What are you talking about?

Me: There's been a lot of wars beetween Rome, Korea and Germany, so I am going to let them be.

GF: YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP AT THE PARTY LIKE WE AGREED!

Me: I got a diplomat In France and Netherlands, I think they plotting against me.

GF: YOU NEVER SHOW UP AT ANYTHING!

Me: It looks like Japan and Egypt dosen't do much, I can totally outvote them on anything in the Congress.

GF: YOU DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP AT MY BROTHER'S FUNERAL!

Me: Russia and Spain is being awfully queit... you think they're planing on doing something?

GF: WHY DO YOU BAIL OUT ON EVERY SINGLE THING??!! WHEN IS THE LAST TIME YOU WERE OUT?!

Me: I deafeted Poland, Ethiopia and Austria early in the game, the others dosen't know about it.

GF: YOU EVEN INGORE ME?!!

Me: Whatever happens, I am winning this game.

GF: HOW ARE YOU POSSIBLY WINNING ANYTHING?

Me: Because I am allied to 5 millitary City-States I am running for world leader and almost finnished the space program.

GF: I AM LEAVING YOU!

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I didn't notice until 3 days later she was gone.

I learnt a phrase from this game, and it goes like this:

"Make sure you're dressed nicely or girls won't want to kiss you"

-went to school with suit
-gave flowers to a cute girl
-girl threw the flowers on me and called me a creep

~10/10 would cry again