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28 of 28 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

NotEvenRemotelyFair.WAD

Die within 5 seconds of starting a game on Selaco Must Fall difficulty
Unlocked 31 May @ 2:57pm

Marathon Runner

Take 15,000 steps in a single Campaign save
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 12:09pm

Reporting for duty!

Suit up
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 8:48am

Safe Heaven

Unlock your first Safe Room
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 10:20am

Pub Brawl

Start an argument at The Broken Seal
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 12:14pm

Power Overwhelming

Obtain the Railgun Prototype from Starlight
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 10:51am

Daily Bonus

Claim a free daily drink at the Mall
Unlocked 22 Jun @ 12:56pm

Little Plushy Man

Safely return Wilson the Bear to Dawn's home
Unlocked 3 Jul @ 3:33pm

AFK

Spend 1 hour inside a 'Xen Wellness Center' sauna without interruption
Unlocked 19 Jun @ 8:09pm

Crime Averted

Save a fish from suffocation
Unlocked 21 Jun @ 12:47pm

Myth, busted!

Cause a toilet to explode without using explosives
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 9:04am

Humiliation!

Defeat a Juggernaut with your fists
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 10:10am

Death Incarnate

Kill 1,000 Enemies
Unlocked 7 Jun @ 12:31pm

Buddy System

Buddy-up with Jonathan
Unlocked 8 Jun @ 5:12pm

Sharp and Shiny

Obtain all upgrades for a single weapon
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 10:53am

Sharp Shooter

Land a Headshot Kill from at least 70 meters away
Unlocked 22 Jun @ 12:51pm

Gwyn Simp

Spend at least 5000 Selver in a single Gwyn Machine session
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 9:27am

Unionize!

Get 100 Minimum-Wagers in Burger Flipper
Unlocked 2 Jul @ 1:12pm

Humanity's Second Chance

Reach the streets
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 1:18pm

Homecoming

Visit Dawn's home
Unlocked 7 Jun @ 9:33am

Death Toll

Prevent a mutation from happening, by any means necessary
Unlocked 8 Jun @ 6:16pm

Paper Forever

Fight through the Liancria Office Complex
Unlocked 7 Jun @ 10:45am

Game Over!

Complete Chapter 1
Unlocked 11 Jun @ 11:16am

DPS LFG

Obtain 1200 DPS at the Shooting Range in Punching Bag mode
Unlocked 5 Jul @ 6:00am

Overkill

Kill an enemy with your Fists while having a Bunny Hopper, Protein Shake and Confidence Booster active
Unlocked 5 Jul @ 6:31am

Save the World, bro!

Reach Level 10 in SPACE BRO
Unlocked 3 Jul @ 2:56pm

It's not a bug, it's a feature!

Trigger a Trash Tornado
Unlocked 5 Jul @ 6:22am

Mozzarella Miracle!

Get very lucky by finding a full box of pizza
Unlocked 4 Jun @ 9:01am