8=======D~~ "The Sword Fight" ~~C=======8

“I challenge anybody who’s man enough to a sword fight!” I declared, whipping my smaller ♥♥♥♥ out into the air for everyone to see.

At first I was met with silence, but then Vinny steps up, with rage in his eyes...

“Tough talk for a fella with a small ♥♥♥♥”

He joined me on the table, summoning is terrifying 9 inch meat penetrator. I quickly assumed a guard position, I was 5 inches short from a fair fight, so I had to play defensively.

He charged with his penis in hand, swinging wildly, but clearly underestimating my maneuverability. I dodged and landed 3 quick jabs with the tip of my peen on his shaft. He reposted quickly, but I chambered his advanced and managed to strike at the balls. Vinny was down, but soon the rest of the family whipped out their ♥♥♥♥♥ and prepared to engage in an all out melee.

The smell of musty ♥♥♥♥♥ filled the air as men took their sides on the battlefield. Some came to defend me, admiring my valor in single combat with Vinny, while others came to avenge him. Soon a frontline emerged, reminiscent of the pike-and-shot warfare of the early modern period. Men on the front pushed and pulled with their ♥♥♥♥♥ to make ground, while occasionally allowing for volleys of ♥♥♥ to fly across the room as artillery.

The battle was intense, casualties began to stack up, and it looked like my side was going to collapse.

Then my father came downstairs, 10 inch ♥♥♥♥ in hand.

“You may not be my son, anon, but you’ll always be my boy”

He and my allies charged, rallying our fallen comrades. I’d never seen a man cockfight like my father before. He used his massive schlong like a zweihander, cutting down two, three ♥♥♥♥♥ at once.

Soon the battle ended, with Vinny’s allies surrendering in defeat. The room was covered in ball sweat and ♥♥♥, dripping from the walls and ceiling.

I don’t know where I stand with the family currently. Many have learned to accept me, but I’m sure it will take years before the rest consider it. Who knows how many more wars this family will fight before peace is had... and it’s all my fault.

Slicketh, Dicketh. How doth thine dicketh be so slicketh? Doth thou useth lubrication? Or doth thine pores pour oil? The world may never know, but you do. Why do you torture us so by hiding the secrets kept for thousands of years? The secreths of the Slicketh Dicketh. Mayhaps one day when the stars doth align, my Dicketh may too be ... Slicketh.

+rep His silky slimy smooth skin lets him slip right trough the corn fields and sneak up to the porta-potty. He then sits in said throne for hours peering through the slats in the wood stalking his prey. His breath silent as a mouse in the middle of a toilet bowl. HARK a prey crawls toward the barn in search of a bounty. Not today he thinks to himself as he raises his rifle toward the fowl beast that lay before him. BANG he shoots. Headshot. Dead. Victory Royale. Gary Smith triumphs again!