hoshi's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 8:04am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 9 Jan, 2018 @ 11:10pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 4:34am

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:18am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 12:58am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 12:49am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 4:45am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 10:24am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 2:13am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 2:57am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 4:52am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2022 @ 12:24pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 9:06am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:26am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 9:15am

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 2:44am

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:37am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 4:33am

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 10:29am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:48am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 10:26am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 5:57am

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 9:12am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 9:33am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 12:56am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 3:53am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 2:28am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:04am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 5:24am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 2:12am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 8 Aug, 2022 @ 10:41am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 9:21am

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 24 Oct, 2019 @ 5:52am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 2:12am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 8:00am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:04am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 5:27am

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:36am

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 2:44am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:00am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 12:52am

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 10:24am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:39am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 8:04am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 28 May, 2016 @ 7:34am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 4:08am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:39am

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:36am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 5:53am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 5:56am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 10 Jan, 2018 @ 1:19am

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 3:46am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 18 Jul, 2022 @ 1:09pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 26 Oct, 2019 @ 2:44am

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 25 Oct, 2019 @ 6:48am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 9 Aug, 2022 @ 4:30am

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 11 Jan, 2018 @ 3:50am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2018 @ 1:56am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

1 / 30