My life is not for the whims of others.

I look up to the dark night sky so dark and empty and filled with blight
I close my eyes and ask, but why
Things are gone and things do change, but I myself am still the same
Doomed for nothing, it's all in vain

My heart feels so heavy, it falls through my stomach, and before I know it, I've lost it. It's no longer apart of me, just a piece of what used to be mine. Something I can no longer have back, what was taken can't be returned, and all the things lost with it. Gone... How does one continue without the ability to be fully what they are, to live with only half of what they can be. To lose what they've had... To have had and lost or to have never had at all, honestly, I would have rather lost myself with everything I had lost...

Oh my sweet summer child, you're blinded by your naivete. In trying to fix it all, you've broken it beyond all repair. I wish I could say it is not your fault, but I cannot lie, even to you.

You know, there comes a time when you have to ask yourself, have I lost enough to justify leaving? My home, my family, my daughter, my lover, all gone, like the tears in the rain. One moment there and another moment gone, fleeting, like all things are. I want to leave, so very much, but if I don't live for them, who will, but who's living for me? I've got nothing left, and I'm tired, so very tired...

I probably died a few weeks ago, but I played games, I streamed sometimes, I was depressed, I was a simple guy, I lived a simple life.