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85 of 85 (100%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

Spring Fresh

Clean any map adequately
Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 2:26pm

Employee of the Month

Get the Employee of the Month reward for your office
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 9:14am

You're Fired!

Get fired!
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2016 @ 6:27pm

Blood Soaked

Spill 100 dirty buckets
Unlocked 3 Mar, 2016 @ 12:41pm

Blaze of Glory

Incinerate 2000 items
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2016 @ 8:32pm

Bloody Hell!

Mop up 10,000 splats
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 12:14pm

Who's for Dinner?

Get eaten
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 9:49am

Top Brass

Pick up 800 casings
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 12:23pm

Taking Out the Trash

Pick up 1000 pieces of trash
Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 5:48pm

Ubermensch

Speedrun a map with at least %25 par time to spare
Unlocked 18 Apr @ 5:28pm

Pedestrian

Track over 20,000 footprints
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 8:31pm

Janicide

Blow up a fellow worker with the help of an ominously bright-red explosive charge
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 9:03pm

Need a Hand?

Receive a total of 35 helping hands from the Slosh-O-Matic
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 12:03am

Bins? Limbs!

Suffer the wrath of the Bin machine 75 times
Unlocked 9 Apr @ 9:46pm

First Aid

Restock a total of 50 medkits over your cleaning career by punching out of levels with medkits
Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 9:00am

The Nose Knows

Use the Sniffer for a total of 2 hours
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 8:21pm

Chew on This!

Throw 100 items into sand traps
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 5:49pm

Disintegrator

Fry 500 items with the plasma welder
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 8:47pm

The Mops Of Wrath

Complete Athena's Wrath Level
Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 2:41pm

Anti-Virus

Complete Caduceus Level
Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 9:00am

Ice-Cold Cleana

Complete Cryogenesis Level
Unlocked 26 Feb, 2016 @ 12:01pm

Sandblasted

Complete Unearthly Excavation Level
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 11:14am

Pine Fresh

Complete Hydroponic Hell Level
Unlocked 10 Apr @ 11:59pm

Surgical Sweeper

Complete Evil Science Level
Unlocked 24 Feb, 2016 @ 2:55pm

Deep-Sea Dry-cleaning

Complete Paintenance Level
Unlocked 25 Feb, 2016 @ 1:19pm

Operation Brownwash

Complete Waste Disposal Level
Unlocked 23 Feb, 2016 @ 3:33pm

Refined

Complete Unrefinery Level
Unlocked 28 Feb, 2016 @ 12:44pm

One Mop To Rule Them All

Complete All major Official Levels
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 1:14pm

Pass The Torch

Take a lit flare from a fellow Janitor
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 8:53pm

Louis and Clean

Complete Gravity Drive Level
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 12:29am

Big Banger Burnout

Tame the uncontrollable fury of the Big Banger by incinerating it
Unlocked 3 Jan, 2016 @ 2:04pm

Clean Freak

Cleanup your own personal Office by removing any Trash, Viscera and Blood; excluding trophies, then leave
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 9:00pm

Employee of the Year

Receive 12 Employee of the Month awards
Unlocked 8 Apr @ 7:42pm

Identity Theft

Steal 30 or more Personal Identification Devices (P.I.Ds) from cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 7:27pm

Bring the Thunder

Take the Big Banger Supernova out of Unearthly Excavation and into another work-site and turn it on
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 11:22am

Master of the Beats

Turn off the Big Banger while it's playing loudly(keep your music volume up too) in zero-gravity during a Solo game
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 9:42pm

Plague Bearer

Transfer a Goo-Jar to another work-site and infect something
Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 12:40pm

Head Hunter

Collect a head from each species in cleaned levels and take them to your office
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 8:38pm

Brushed Steel

Complete Revolutionary Robotics Level
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 9:14am

Bushwhacked

Complete Overgrowth Level
Unlocked 3 Mar, 2016 @ 12:23pm

Bob's Legacy

Find Bob
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 10:51am

"Red Keycard"

Unlock Bob's super secret secret stash room
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 11:16am

Keep It Secret, Keep It Safe

Find all the unique and hidden collectibles and return them to your office
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 12:29am

Eggregious

Find all the hidden painted eggs and return them to your office
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 1:54am

Lost in Space and Time

Get consumed by an inter-dimensional crack in space-time
Unlocked 22 Feb, 2016 @ 4:50pm

Wicked Unliving

Collect the chainsaw, boomstick, cursed hand and the evil book and return them to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:00pm

Thursday the 12th

Collect the mask and machete and return them to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:00pm

Bad Dreams on Helm Street

Collect the clawed glove and return it to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:04pm

Harroween

Collect the white mask and butcher knife and return them to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:00pm

The Shimmering

Collect the axe and return it to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:00pm

Never Put It On

Collect the ring and return it to your office
Unlocked 28 Aug, 2018 @ 3:00pm

House of Honor

Clean the entire House of Horror level
Unlocked 15 Apr @ 5:44pm

Back From Whence It Came

Destroy the Bad Banger
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 5:06pm

Not Quite a Lumberjack

Destroy 200 items in the woodchipper
Unlocked 21 Feb, 2016 @ 3:10pm

Cleanliness is Godliness

Completely clean all mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 12:28pm

Christmas Crisis Corrected

Completely clean Santa's Workshop without breaking any Christmas items and clock off
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 7:20pm

Sanitized Earth

Completely clean all mess and destroy every item in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2016 @ 7:06pm

Bloody Incompetent

Prove your incompetence by leaving a worse mess in Santa's Workshop and clock off
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 8:12pm

St. Nick's Boomstick

Collect Santa's shotgun and bring it back to your office
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 12:28pm

The Red Nose Knows

Collect the iconic reindeer nose and bring it back to your office
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 12:28pm

Rooks Kept

Collect the different Rooks Keep figurines and take them back to your office
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2016 @ 6:37pm

Ballistic Weaponry

Collect the different Ballistic Weapons toys and bring them back to your office
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2016 @ 6:37pm

Thunder Candle

Requisition a new replacement janitor through the use of TNT
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 10:43am

Head Hunter

Collect elf heads and bring them back to your office, you freakin' psycho!
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 7:20pm

Santa Hats Must Die!

Incinerate 50 Santa hats, the symbol of everything you hate
Unlocked 16 Apr @ 8:09pm

Tower of Babel

Build a stack of 10 stools
Unlocked 15 Feb, 2016 @ 5:56pm

The Day the Funk Died

Bring about the sad meeting of Ice-Cold Banger and fire
Unlocked 10 Feb, 2016 @ 12:34pm

Cold Storage

Complete Frostbite Level
Unlocked 5 Mar, 2016 @ 2:39pm

Biomassive Breakdown

Complete Incubation Emergency Level
Unlocked 15 Jun, 2024 @ 10:57am

Sanitary Supremacy

Completely clean the entire Shadow Warrior temple level
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 2:48pm

Mr. Two Million Dollars

Collect the two million dollars of cold hard cash from the Shadow Warrior level all at once and bring it back to your office
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 2:49pm

Swept Under The Carpet

Complete Uprinsing Level
Unlocked 13 Apr @ 1:14pm

Crystal Clear

Complete Core Sample Level
Unlocked 16 Jun, 2024 @ 7:54pm

Pest Control

Complete Pestilent Penitentiary Level
Unlocked 12 Jun, 2024 @ 8:50pm

Bleach and Clear

Complete Penumbra Level
Unlocked 9 Apr @ 6:07pm

Audacious Oddities

Find all the unique Collectibles in the Vulcan Affair and return them to your office
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:25pm

Lair Care

Clean the entire Vulcan Affair level
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:25pm

Teeth for Tunes

Bring about the unfortunate meeting of Double-Oh Banger and Shark
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:26pm

Blood in the Water

Go for a swim with Sharks
Unlocked 10 Dec, 2018 @ 2:26pm

We're Gonna Need a Bigger Tank

Feed the ever hungry Sharks 500 items they can either devour or destroy
Unlocked 17 Jun, 2024 @ 8:25pm

Double-Oh Dumbass

Foolishly activate the Death Ray
Unlocked 10 Dec, 2018 @ 3:26pm

Locked In

Lock another player inside a holding cell where they belong
Unlocked 12 Apr @ 8:56pm

Death From Above

Get turned into mist by an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:28pm

Cat-astrophe

Using an orbital beam weapon, destroy the symbol of your most hated overlord; cats!
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:28pm

Orbital Bang-bardment

Allow the Banger to ascend to its rightful place among the heavens through the use of an orbital beam weapon
Unlocked 14 Apr @ 8:31pm