There comes a time in every man's life when he needs to take a look at himself in the mirror and wonder how exactly he reached such place.
You have to truly ponder what decisions you've made along the way that brought you to the place of your final reckoning.

It is still unclear, even to me, why I purchased and played so much of this odious, despicable, detestable, revolting, s.h.i.t.t.y-ass game called Counter-Strike 1.6.
I fear there isn't anything wrong with it as a whole, even with those vicious, brain consuming and heart-shattering frames that contribute in creating jaw-dropping, eyes-glowing, time-leaping scenes and throughout it is perfectly stellar. Yet when you look at it as a choice, you realize just how flawed you and the rest of humanity is.

What prompted me to buy a game as such? What part of my soul felt so empty that I thought a virtual shooting game could fill it?
When I look into the infinite depths of my own loneliness, I see a pool of reflection. My face is not there, there is no face. There are only tears in that puddle, tears of shame, loss and confusion.

If it were up to me once again, I know I would buy it in a heartbeat, I know I would load it up and skip the multitude window prompts so I could get a single bite of the bloodthirsty, potentially life-threatening sceneries... accessible at a stone’s throw (away).
However, despite the abundance of educational and real life-changing games waiting in the digital sphere, I chose to purchase this one and dedicate countless hours to it. That time will never return to me, it is as lost as my soul and just like time I fear never to find it again.

There is something broken inside of me, something that desires sensations beyond my reach, something that moans every night knowing that there isn't real competition, that there is no real adrenaline rush, it is simply an illusion.
In my quest to find meaning in this puny existence, I searched for the colorful lights and sounds of a world that only exists in a pop-up window on my computer.

I'm not sure what the moral of this review is, I'm not sure of my place within the universe, all I know is that no amount of virtual games can cure the big rot that has plagued me.