"By the order of the jarl, stop right there! You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people. What say you in your defence?" - Whiterun Guard

"Stop right there criminal scum! Nobody breaks the law on my watch! I'm confiscating your stolen goods. Now pay your fine or it's off to jail." - Oblivion Guard

"Wow! You're the Grand Champion! I saw your fight against the Gray Prince! You're the best! Can I... Can I follow you around? I won't get in the way!" - The Adoring Fan

"Beneath the skin, we are already one. Was it not your sin that trapped the Unicorn? Even now, the evil seed of what you have done, germinates within you." - The Almighty Loaf

"They are all poo-poo heads!" - Heimlich

"I bought 600kg worth of goose pies. Time to make goat sandwich." - Nathan

"Sniping's a good job mate. Challenging work. Outa doors. I guarantee you'll not go hungry. Because at the end of the day, as long there are two people left on the planet, someone is going to want someone dead." - Sniper

"In the first age, in the first battle, when the shadows first lengthened, one stood. Burned by the embers of Armageddon, his soul blistered by the fires of Hell and tainted beyond ascension, he chose the path of perpetual torment. In his ravenous hatred he found no peace; and with boiling blood he scoured the Umbral Plains seeking vengeance against the dark lords who had wronged him. He wore the crown of the Night Sentinels, and those that tasted the bite of his sword named him... the Doom Slayer." - ???

"I'm Jackie ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' Vincent." - Jack Vincent

"Dude you're so weak. The only thing you can lift with that body is my self esteem." - The Amazing World of Gumball

"How does God account for abandoned churches? Do people just stop believing, stop caring, and move on? Or does he see them as no longer fit for purpose? All I know is that God isn't here anymore." - Mickey Mouse

"Why do I have so much breath?" - Nathan

"tonight im moist" - Darren

"we gangsters at washing and drying clothes" - Oscar

"I'll take the time out of my day to listen to it. Count yourself lucky, I usually give a lot better people a lot less." - Nathan

"When she noot noots on your little flute ." - Nathan