Heeeeello. Today we have a Jelly Belly Pet Rat Gummi Candy, Jelly Belly Pet Rat Gummi Candy. Let’s slice it open, so he can breathe. Mmm, fresh air. Pet Rat time to come alive. Escape the package, escape the package. Pet Rat is very big and long, very big and long. The bottom is very flat. Good boy, very good boy. Pet Rat is a very good boy. A-rat-tat-tat-tat, A-rat-tat-tat-tat, A-rat-tat-tat-tat. Smell my finger, smell my finger. I’m giving my Pet Rat a head massage, a head massage. My Pet Rat has a strong bungee cord, a strong bungee cord. I must have this bungee cord, snip it off. Snip! Awe, I like my bungee cord. It is cute. Cut out his eyeball, cut out his eyeball. I wonder if Pet Rat has a brain, I wonder if Pet Rat has a brain. Let’s find out. Cut him open! I think I found his brain, I think I found his brain. I can not pull it out. It is stuck inside. Bah duh bah duh bah nah nah nah nah. Bah duh bah duh nah nah nah nah. Peace, Peace Out!

delete that please

Wow!
Wow!
Wow!
Wow! Wow!
Be a, be a, be a, be a (Wow!)
Be now, be now, be now, be now (Wow!)
Be a, be a, be a, be a (Wow!)
Now's your chance to be big (Chance to be a big) (Wow! Wow!)
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Wow! Wow! Wow! Wow!
Now's your chance to be a big shot!
Be a big, be a big, be a big shot!
Now's your chance to to, now's your chance to to
Now's your chance to be a big sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shot!
Now's your chance to be a big shot!
Be a big, be a big, be a big shot!
Now's your chance to to, now's your chance to to
Now's your chance to be a big sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-sh-shot!
Think it's coming for me, answer the phone
Can't wait 'til you're all alone
Ha ha ha ha ha ha

Hey Beeb,

My friend sent me this not too long ago and I thought I would share:

"I am aiming to become a wizard. After forty years of celibacy you gain arcane powers. So, its not that I cant score any woman I want, it's just i'm gonna be a magic user. 😎"

Have a lovely day my friend :)

-Bela

This monster cockroach had taken up residence in my bathroom for like the last year but whenever I tried to catch him he would always slip my grasp. About 10 minutes ago I finally corner the bastard in a cartoon box. I find a way to maneuver the roach into the toilet without wasting any time, and a sense of victory washes over me. But is this enough? Oh hell no I want this ♥♥♥♥♥♥ to suffer. I decide I'm going to drop a load on him before I flush him, a dishonorable sendoff. So I get on the toilet and start going to work.

It starts coming out and this is one solid log I had been holding on to for about half an hour (because xbox) I aim by looking through my legs, all is going well, the log is right on coarse. Eventually it makes contact, and this is when all hell breaks lose. The roach goes full rambo and climbs UP MY ♥♥♥♥ towards my butthole! I panic and start jumping around like a 50's housewife who just spotted a rat. Mind you my log hadn't been broken yet so I'm spreading that ♥♥♥♥ all over the bathroom in the process. Best part? The little bastard got away. Now I'm sitting on my computer procrastinating cleaning my bathroom covered in fecal matter.