The Nuclear King's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 2:43pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 1:56pm

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 3:29pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 12:07pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 9:12pm

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 1:24pm

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 3:02pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 7:50pm

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 9:30pm

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 8:30am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 5:23pm

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 7:50pm

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2019 @ 7:30pm

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 8:42pm

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 2:54pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 9:20pm

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 23 May, 2015 @ 10:33am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 7:23pm

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 1:19pm

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 7:32pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 8:20am

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 6:19pm

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 11:45am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 11 Apr, 2014 @ 8:48pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 8:05am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 9:53pm

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 7:35pm

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 9:41pm

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 3:01pm

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 4:56pm

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 3:29pm

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 8:48pm

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 7:50am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 22 May, 2015 @ 10:00am

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 9:09am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 1:40pm

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 5:16pm

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Unlocked 13 Apr, 2014 @ 1:26pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 2:07pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 1:28pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 23 May, 2015 @ 9:41am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 1:42pm

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 2:11pm

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 9:46pm

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 11:38am

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 7:10pm

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 1:05pm

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 21 May, 2015 @ 11:35am

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 23 May, 2015 @ 9:47am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 3 Mar, 2014 @ 8:01am

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 22 Apr, 2014 @ 3:54pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 7:23pm

SCREW that game!

Found the hidden copy of POSTAL III and peed on it.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 2:22pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 12 Apr, 2014 @ 6:33pm

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 2 Mar, 2014 @ 3:05pm

John Rambo'd!

Made a very long killing spree.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 6:14pm

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 9:23pm

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 24 May, 2015 @ 7:51pm

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Oct, 2019 @ 7:42pm

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 8:41am

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 4:09pm

Ginger Mint

Killed Zack Ward.

Unlocked 29 Oct, 2019 @ 3:12pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 30 Oct, 2019 @ 9:35pm

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

16 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

4 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

14 / 30

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

11 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

845 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

16 / 30