UNCLE FESTAAAAAAAAA!!!


Found this on someone's profile -
""Does this uniform make me look fat?" - Insecurity Guard

If 10 millimetres = 1 centimetre, does 10 millipedes = 1 centipede?

What do you get if you cross a polar bear with a seal? A polar bear.

The first rule of Tautology Club is the first rule of Tautology Club

Do crabs think that fish can fly?

Whiteboards are remarkable.

If I ever get a boat, i'm calling it the S.S. Stutter.

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Help me, I am trapped
In a haiku factory
Save me, before they

There once was a man from Peru
Whose limericks stopped at line two

In theory, 'in practice' and 'in theory' are the same.
In practice, they're not.

hyphenated. non-hyphenated."
-goast milk


"There's two types of people in this world - "normal" people, and "♥♥♥♥ wipes". How am I supposed to put up with a "♥♥♥♥ wipe" if I'm a "normal" person?"
- The real shaman of the crabs 2015

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