I really, really ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hate lawns. There's nothing in this world I hate more than lawns. A waste of space that could be better put to use with something else. Whats so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ great about a green slab? Nothing. Nothing is great about a testimony to laziness. That's right! It's a testimony to your lazy boomer ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥!

There is no real effort to a lawn! You mow the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ and occasionally deweed it! And deweeding it is no longer even hard, just spray an ecological disaster on it and hope for the best. Yet these criminals are PROUD of their lawn like its some sort of trophy - "look here and see my lethargy! Know I am too incompetent to garden and too tasteless to invest in ornamental decorations! Be sickened by this affront to mother nature, for no animal may graze upon this freshly cut grass!" At least plant a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ tree so that you're not such a screw up.

There is no SUSTENANCE to the lawn. No product for man nor animal. No bee will visit your atrocity to nature. The bugs that live in it are the kind that can live everywhere regardless, and even they are dying because of your pesticides and weed killer. It's useless in every sense of the word!

A broken down car parked on top of a mismanaged lawn would be more ecologically friendly than a well maintained lawn. At least animals can live in the former, while the latter is barren of all life. Those chemicals seep deep into the soil and can find their way into the local water supply, but no BOB. YOU NEED A GREEN LAWN, DON'T YOU, YOU SELFISH PRICK?

What the absolute ♥♥♥♥ is wrong with people and their obsession with these overrated, overhyped, giant balls of green and pink ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥? People act like they're the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ nectar of the gods or some ♥♥♥♥, but they're just a fruit. Sure, they're refreshing on a hot summer day, but they're so overhyped it's not even funny. You'd think they were the second coming of Christ or some ♥♥♥♥. "Oh, watermelons are sooo good, they're sooo refreshing". Go ♥♥♥♥ yourself. I won't even bother addressing the "seed spitting contests." That's just a bunch of morons trying to show off and look cool in front of their friends. Like who gives a ♥♥♥♥ if you can spit a seed 20 feet, that doesn't make you a hero. And then you have all the nutritionist wannabes talking about the "health benefits" of watermelons. Sure, they're 95% water, but who ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cares? There are plenty of other fruits and vegetables that are just as hydrating, if not more so. And don't even get me started on the supposed "antioxidant properties." That's just a bunch of pseudoscientific ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that's been blown way out of proportion. Let's talk about the taste, shall we? It's like eating a sponge of flavorless, watery mess. Who in their right mind would go to a watermelon-eating contest? I'd rather stuff my face into a pile of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. Oh and then there's the whole debate over whether seedless watermelons are better than seeded watermelons. Are you ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kidding me? Who gives a ♥♥♥♥? It's a watermelon, not the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Mona Lisa. They're just a piece of fruit, and the worst ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kind.