I have inspected and can guarantee that this guy is a real banana

Sometimes I fantasize about Misato coming home drunk and beating me until I feel numb. She kicks me in the ribs until I can hardly breathe. Then she starts to cry and apologizes, begging me to forgive her. She holds me all night as I gently cry into her t-shirt. Please help is there any hope for me

i thought white people didn’t like me—turns out i was the problem

for context i am a 26 year old non white guy 5’7 512lbs. shower every full moon (when the transformation happens), and im a proud activist. for the longest time i thought all whites were mean and fat phobic, but i was talking to my therapist (asian ofc ^ _ ^ ) and she made me realize something after a particularly aggressive sexual advancement made by me: white people don’t like me because im not white. they don’t dislike me because of my personality or because i cant stop drowning the neighborhood pets.. its because im not white. so from now on i am declaring war on all whites and my time is now. i will rule the white satrapy. i will rule the four corners of this here flat earth. anyone who tries and stops me is a white colonial bigot and they will rue the day

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Hey you! I have something really important and personal to share with you. Over the past few months, I’ve been on a journey of self-discovery and have found a part of myself that I feel ready to embrace and share with the world. Watching DaFuqBoom's series "Skibidi Toilet" has deeply resonated with me on an emotional level, helping me realize a new aspect of my identity. With that, I'm excited to come out as Skibidigender! It’s a unique and beautiful identity that I’ve connected with profoundly. Moving forward, I would love for you to refer to me using the pronouns Skibidi/Toilet. This might be new and different, but it truly represents who I am. Additionally, I have decided to change my name to Toilette, inspired by the show. With everything changing about myself, it makes me feel really sigma, and if you don’t feel the same, you could rot in Skibidi hell. Also, if you're on Camera Man's team, please do not interact with me. Thank you for your support and understanding.

Staring At My Freakmeter Right Now

Do you ever just sit there, staring at your freakmeter, watching it hit peak freakness? Because I sure do. My freakometer is always off the charts, measuring freaklevels that would make even the freakiest of freaks blush. I'm talking about next-level freakery, folks. It's like I've got a freakalicious aura surrounding me at all times.

Every day is a freakin' adventure, I tell you. From the moment I wake up to the moment I freakin' crash back into my freaky dreams, it's a non-stop freakfest. I'm talking freakbreakfast, freakcoffee, freakshower, freakcommute – you name it, it's freakin' freaky.

And don't even get me started on freakmas. Oh boy, freakmas is the freakiest time of the freakin' year. It's like the whole world turns into one big freakin' celebration of all things freaky. Freaklights, freakdecorations, freakcarols – it's enough to make a non-freak's head spin.