Vaccine side affects (really worried) NSFW//TW//real life story//

Just got my shot today and I'm a little worried. Is anybody experiencing substantial penile growth? It feels like I'm swinging an Enterprise salami when I go jogging now. My shlong has grown so much that I register as disabled at this point. It's so hard for me to even walk, both figuratively and literally... My cats think I'm packing a giant toy in my pants and claw at my c ock.

I was sent to HR when I accidentally pushed my coworker out of the window with my c ock because I wanted to get to the fax machine.

It ruined my life.

Please don't get the vaccine!

signed by Miliions AKA makin moves AKA mr get dough AKA bossman

Signed by Riffler

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What the ♥♥♥♥ did you just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say about me, you little ♥♥♥♥♥? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the ♥♥♥♥ out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ words. You think you can get away with saying that ♥♥♥♥ to me over the Internet? Think again, ♥♥♥♥♥♥. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dead, kid.

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+rep good guy but bad player.