Recent reviews by PhantomTa2

You know how kids with mental health problems and learning difficulties can't focus very well, aren't really very enthusiastic about anything and get distracted extremely easily?? Well, my autistic 8 year old, (according to the stats), is in the Top 10% of players on this game after playing 133.6 hours..........Let that fact at the beginning of this review settle in your mind and then allow the 2nd line to sink in for a moment.........Now, do you really need to ask whether this game is any good or not?

In the first game his father is missing. In this one his sister is missing. At some point our hero is going to have to deal with the fact that his family would rather put themselves in mortal danger rather than hang out with him for a bit..........That's gonna cost at therapy!!

1. Pre-Order Evolve Monster Race Edition at an absolutely atrocious price
2. Have to keep away due to stroke and, as a result, a useless left hand so can't play
3. Browse through games list to see if there are any half-decent titles I may be able to play
4. Discover Evolve has gone F2P
5. Made a mental note to ask for dinner first the next time I'm going to present my bare a*s to devs who are chomping at the bit to ream their customers....hard
6. Report Turtle Rock to the Trading Standards. Not for their business practices but purely because there are prisoners in jail who have hinted that Turtle Rock are taking business away from Bubba and His Bum-B*ggering Buddies


Biting The Pillow/10: Game has been brought back from the dead........Ask Rick Grimes how that's working out for him

It's a clicker........You click......Then you click again.........Closely followed by some more clicking.......Bet you can't guess what step 4 is!?!


Carpal Tunnel Syndrome/10

It seems popular enough......But bullies seem to be popular in high school, too, and they're complete grundles, so what the sh*t do I know about it?

Seriously, though, I haven't actually played it yet

A very simple but decent game, very simplistic in nature yet there are challenges to be had. I let my kids play this in August 2015 and haven't slept since. I have to keep an eye on my kids as my daughter is in her teenage years, so is at the age of "Sod it, let's try this thing I saw on TV/Internet/Game and see what happens" and my 7 year old son just shuffles around the house muttering "The voices in the flame are telling me to do things" and "Fire is the cleanser" under his breath. I'd be a very scared individual if I didn't have central heating

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire, we don't need no water let the mamma jamma burn, burn mamma jamma burn/10

If you like Broforce then there's a TREMENDOUS chance that you'll enjoy this just as much, if not even more so, (I personally love the stuff but, despite the gameplay being amazing and the controls being pretty much fluid, enjoyment may come down to how much you like/don't like blood in your games)

This is a fantastic clicker/idle game that includes absolutely everything awesome about the Sakura series......Apart from the bikinis........and boobs.......and scantily clad ladies........OK, so it's just a clicker, but it IS a good one

AHEM

This release, despite what they may say, or what you have been led to believe, is NOT what the finished product was supposed to be, even WITH the "Digital Deluxe Commander Bundle" addition. A large number of us bought this game whilst it was available through Early Access, (Yes, yes, I know, we're f*cking dumba**es for doing that), and were promised what seemed to amount to being a brilliant bit of software once they had finished it......However.....They decided to do half a job and then release that as a completed game. It was not.

The extra units in-game that were promised suddenly weren't included anymore, neither were several other features. So we kinda felt ripped-off, (quite understandably, I think), and watched in despair as the money we had poured into the development for this game through EA was, for all intents and purposes, basically stolen. Yes, we had paid for the game so the money wasn't physically ripped from our wallets but the game that we got, after the devs decided to do their cash-grab, WAS NOT in ANY way whatsoever, the game that we were promised...So, yes, I think that basically amounts to theft, in my books.

Now this is where it gets real good.

Having placed their many, many, many thousands of pounds/dollars/euros/whatever in their pockets now, this game was put on the "Ignore" list, and what happened then? What was it?? Oh, yeah, Planetary Annihilation: Titans was released.........and, oh, look at that! The features and units that we were promised for this release are now being sold as a completely different game now, even though the only real differences are the features that we had their words were being included here.

So we have this game and we have the "different" version that is PA: Titans, the differences being that the extra stuff that is in Titans were promised for this release, yet they've chosen to release Titans as a completely separate and different game, for the full price again, despite the "extras" that would amount to a DLC, AT MOST from other developers.

Well, Uber, you f*cked us all royally and you didn't even have the courtesy to give us a reach-around while you were doing it!! Devs like you are the reason that Early Access gets so much sh*t from people. Hell, why didn't you just release a Unity pack as a full game and have done with it??

So, yeah, I'm a small, petty little man but if my review goes towards somebody thinking twice about buying this game, then I suppose that's some small consolation and I can rest easier knowing that I haven't got a chafed sphincter for nothing.

Sorry about the length of the b*tching but it had to be said

Here, just wait a minute whilst I take my pants off, it will make it much easier for you to completely kick me in the junk with this "add-on", covered in spikes, which we should have seeing as how the full release that we paid for isn't complete even WITH this!!