"10/10 Would Charge Into Battle Again"

As a 7-foot tall, genetically engineered super soldier, I did what any respectable Space Marine would do: I ran headfirst into an army of Tyranids, shouting “FOR THE EMPEROR!” while secretly hoping my insurance covered intergalactic bug bites.

The game lets you feel what it's like to be a walking tank of pure testosterone. The chainsword? Oh yeah, it's not just a weapon—it's a way of life. Smashing through hordes of aliens has never been more satisfying, except when you realize you accidentally chainsawed your lunchbox in half because the cafeteria looks a lot like a battlefield.

Pros:
- Chainswords that are more than just a fashion statement.
- You’ll feel like a fridge that grew arms and legs.
- Screaming "ULTRAMARINES" in public now feels normal.

Cons:
- No espresso machine on board the battle cruiser. Marines run on pure rage.

Verdict: If you’ve ever wanted to feel what it’s like to be the human equivalent of a bulldozer that’s angry at everything, Space Marine 2 is for you. Just try not to crush your controller when the adrenaline kicks in.

FOR THE EMPEROR! And my sore thumbs.