10 Ways To Kill A Person With A Spoon



Never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give me a spork.That's a whole other waste of your time.

Numero Uno: If you sharpen the edge of the spoon, you may proceed to stab a man, woman, small child or baby animal (or, if you're suicidal, YOU....) in the throat. If that person/baby animal/you has an Adam's Apple, well then, it's your lucky day! Unless you're suicidal. Or stupid. Then you're dead. Because you made yourself...dead. Either: "You're a ♥♥♥♥♥♥," or, "Good for you, you're dead."

Number Two: Slap the man in the balls. A punishment worse than death.

Number Three: Jab the spoon in the person/baby animal/your guts.

Number Four: Attach the spoon to a high voltage source and get the person to grab it.

Intermission: Hahaha amazing, baby animals getting killed with a spoon. Sounds like a good brunch plan.

Number Five: Shove the spoon down their throat and watch them slowly choke and writhe on the ground.

Number Six: Stab them in the spine. Either it'll paralyze them or kill them slowly and torturously.

Number Seven: Stab your loved ones in betrayal as you spiral downward into an endless void of insanity. Have fun, you're not leaving. :)

Number Eight: Just plain out stab them. With the hole that you made start having sex with it like it was you girlfriend that you killed.

Number Nine:Somehow manage to load the spoon into a gun and shoot the sons o' ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥.

Number Ten: Shove the spoon through a person's nose or eyes and reach the brain, poke it, jab it, and wait till they're dead. Modern mummification.

Bonus: Scoop out their eyes and poke their brain with your spoon.

Double Bonus: Boil their eyes and add salt and pepper. Tastes just like a hard-boiled egg.

Triple bonus: If its a man cut open their balls with the sharpened spoon and replace their eyes with their balls. Haha fun