Came for Aim Assist, Left Reality 10/10

I downloaded Crosshair X thinking it would just put a dot on my screen. Instead, my PC entered a higher state of being. My boot time went from 30 seconds to spiritually instantaneous. Task Manager opened itself just to flex. My monitor started mogging me — I swear it leaned forward slightly and displayed colors I wasn’t emotionally ready for.

After enabling my first crosshair preset, my FPS doubled, my ping apologized to me personally, and Windows Update canceled itself out of respect. My keyboard began typing faster than my fingers and my mouse achieved sentience. At some point my cat started floating about three inches off the ground, rotating slowly like it was being inspected by aliens.

Crosshair X didn’t just improve my aim — it improved my posture, my confidence, and my credit score. I missed every shot but still won the match because the enemy team sensed my aura and surrendered. My monitor kept mogging me the entire time, displaying 4K even though it’s 1080p and reminding me who’s really in charge.

After an hour, my room temperature dropped, my chair gained lumbar support it didn’t have before, and my reflection in the screen nodded at me approvingly. I tried uninstalling Crosshair X but it reinstalled itself and asked if I was “really ready to go back.”

Overall, incredible product. Didn’t get better at the game, but I did ascend slightly. Would recommend to anyone whose PC needs motivation or whose cat looks like it’s ready to defy gravity.