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ㅤ* The Olympic committee has just announced that Origami is to be introduced in the next Olympic Games.
Unfortunately it will only be available on paper view.
ㅤ* A man goes into a pub with a newt sitting on his shoulder.
"That's a nice newt", says the landlord, "What's he called?"
"Tiny", replies the man.
"Why's that?" asks the landlord.
"Because he's my newt", says the man.
ㅤ* I’m multi-talented: I can talk and piss you off at the same time.
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ㅤㅤㅤㅤ teehee!