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23 of 29 (79%) achievements earned:
Personal Achievements
 

1-800-CLEARED

Finish the game
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 6:32am

1-800-GETHELP

Finish the game on hard mode
Unlocked 29 Mar, 2015 @ 5:18am

NUCLEAR WASTE

They won't reach the Nuclear Throne
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:17am

FANTASTIC!

Unlock all the Fans
Unlocked 22 Mar, 2015 @ 5:20pm

THESE ARE MY RIFLES, THESE ARE MY GUNS...

Unlock all weapons for the Soldier
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 8:57am

SNAKE CHARMER

Unlock all snake masks
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 8:24am

WHAT YOU LEAVE FOR YOUR SONS

Unlock all of the Son's techniques
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 5:35am

FANATIC

Clear a level with each Fan
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:57am

FAMILY BUSINESS

Clear a level with each of the Son's techniques
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:53am

SNAKES ON A HEAD

Clear a level with each snake mask
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:35am

DON'T LET ANGER GET THE BEST OF YOU

Clear all of the Writer's levels without killing
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:09am

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Get the big picture
Unlocked 19 Mar, 2015 @ 6:34am

PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE

Destroy 100 electronic devices
Unlocked 13 Mar, 2015 @ 5:24pm

KARMA

Die 1000 times
Unlocked 11 Mar, 2015 @ 9:41am

FOLLOW THE SCRIPT

Do as the Director says!
Unlocked 19 Mar, 2015 @ 7:01am

ASSASSIN'S CRED

Clear the 1st floor of NO MERCY with the silencer
Unlocked 19 Mar, 2015 @ 6:58am

DEAD SILENT

Finish SUBWAY without the Gang Leader seeing you
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 8:13am

I'M COMING IN AND I'M UNARMED!

Finish HOMICIDE without using guns
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 7:17am

STARE INTO THE ABYSS

Unlock THE ABYSS
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 6:47am

THE BAR OF BROKEN HEROES

Meet up with the Biker
Unlocked 19 Mar, 2015 @ 7:12am

COMBO BEGINNER

Perform a 5x combo
Unlocked 10 Mar, 2015 @ 4:30pm

COMBO INTERMEDIATE

Perform a 10x combo
Unlocked 10 Mar, 2015 @ 5:07pm

COMBO MASTER

Perform a 15x combo
Unlocked 12 Mar, 2015 @ 5:55am



ACHIEVEMENT WHORE

Unlock all achievements

1-800-GODDAMN

Get A+ on all levels on normal

A BOX FULL OF SHARP OBJECTS

Use every weapon in the game at least once

GENOCIDE

Kill 50,000 enemies

GOT YOUR BACK

Shoot two enemies during a chainsaw finish

COMBO GOD

Perform a 20x combo