As a child, Lego Star Wars was the epitome of video game masterpieces. The poop jokes and silent humor were impeccable. The feeling of attaining True Jedi was enough to give me the amount of midichromosomes needed to force choke my brother into picking the inferior non-jedi characters. I showered myself in my millions of excess studs, my wealth unmatched by the likes of the Rockefellers. My brother and I completed the entire campaign, and later returned to claim every minikit known to man. The red bricks, gold bricks, all ours for the taking. We conquered the Lego Star Wars universe and found every secret, rivaling the heroes such as Luke Skywalker, C-3PO, Watto, Beach Trooper, and the immortal, effervescent Gonk Droid, blessed is his name. My brother and I became true Jedi Masters of old, and retired our PS2 as it's use was expended after completing the complete saga.

After many years of meditation, my brother transcended from this plane of existence after following the Jedi Way and smoking copious amounts of weed. I purchased the game on PC to re-live the glory days of the Old Republic and honor my pothead brother's corporeal existence, only to discover that the perfection that is Lego Star Wars: The Complete Saga was at best mediocre, and when played alone is ultimately a depressing, bittersweet experience. Double jumping, holding the force button, and grinding out level after level of baby puzzles and spam-hit button boss fights, as well as janky vehicle-only levels, is not as fun when your brain isn't the size of a large grape. The gimmicks and humor of the silent lego characters is reminiscent of watching The Big Bang Theory or Two and a Half Men with no laugh tracks at 4 in the morning. Hearing only the Imperial March loop a dozen times over while searching for a single minikit put me in a delirious state for at least 2 hours.

I must give Lego Star Wars two ratings. With a friend, it is an easy 10/10, as you can perform neat tricks like forcing General Grievous to t-pose, force-push locking each other, picking Gonk Droid, and murdering each other. Alone, it is a 3/10, a harrowing experience that makes you feel empty inside and yearning for your childhood.