Recent reviews by Yames

It's "F**k, marry, kill", the game.

You try to stop a company from stealing everyone's private information by hacking people and stealing their private information. Except you do it ironically so it's OK I guess. Would be an interesting premise if the plot had any self awareness.

TL;DR GTA with more Gen Z.

Got paid sub minimum wage to spend the night evicting a literal Demon named Susan Taylor from some guys bathroom cos that's capitalism for you.

We live in a society.

Skyrim's hotter sister. Sure Skyrims married and you're not but at least you don't have to tart yourself up with mods to look good.

Do you work 40 hours a week filling in spreadsheets and tell people you love your job? Then have I got the game for you!

The Witcher 3's plainer looking sister. Sure you'll have an unforgettable weekend with The Witcher but it's Skyrim you'll be coming home to every night.

You spend the first 10 hours gathering resources to enable you to explore the world then spend the next 10 trying to recover said resources after you die and get corpse camped by a Mosquito. But you carry on playing because anything is better than having to confront your failing marriage and crippling student debt.

Good game.

You play a buff dad who can throw an axe and return it to him by pressing 'R'.

...I wish I could return my dad by pressing R.

Monkeys throw darts and pop bloons, which are just like balloons except they're not because they're called bloons. What's not to love about that premise? Honestly the only reason why you might hate this game is if you were pro bloons. But if you are in today's political climate then you're an idiot.

Fact: Dota 2 ruins lives. I'm writing this in the hope that others can learn from my mistakes.

I used to be a respectable human being like yourself, until I started on Dota. Now I play 4 hours+ a night and spend most of my income on capes for a night elf archer.

It all started one afternoon when I was happily playing Skyrim. I was sent a message and an invite to the beta of Dota, or 'Defense of the Ancients (see? I don't even know where Sweeden is on the map yet I know what that stands for!) For anonymitys sake let's call this person 'Mark.' Now Mark seemed like the decent sort, well dressed and spoken with a healthy spring in his step, not the kind you would expect to pray on the weak. He told me that him and a group of others were gonna try it and that it was all perfectly safe. The first time seemed fun and before long I was playing every night.

Now some people had warned me about the dangers of becoming addicted but well, you never really think it will happen to you do you? But it creeps up on you, slowly at first, maybe one HUD skin here, a courier there but it doesn't stop at that. Soon you need a full set to get the same thrill that a random drop would have previously given you. You start hanging around the dis-reputable parts of the internet trading in seedy back ally's with Russians just to complete the clothing set of a character you don't even play as. It's no way to live...

Unfortunatly it's too late for me. But please, who ever you might be, Stay. Away. From. Dota!

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Above was a message from 'James' a recovering dota addict who works with young people to help them with their addiction. If you have been affected by Dota, feel free to call the anonymous MOBA addicts helpline: 0800 11 22 33.