Recent reviews by Smexus

Guest camera turns off if your ride goes over G-Forces. Come on that was half the fun of the original.

Putting a toothpick in your urethra and humping the wall as hard as you can is a more thrilling experience than the entirety of this game.

Runs just about as well as Stephen Hawking.

Complete dogsh♥t and I absolutely love it.

I filled up my plane with explosives and flew it at a skyscraper.

Fun to mess around with friends in. You can watch Family Guy on the TVs, gamble your life savings away, play mini golf. and just have good old fun. Basically VRChat without the servers full of disgusting gooners. Reminds me of the Wii series games in the best way possible.

This game f♥cking sucks, here's why:

1. Ubisoft Connect is a godawful service that just makes the game worse. On my old HDD it took over 20 MINUTES to load this simple game from 2014. While now me having an SSD and more RAM would make a difference, it just isn't worth navigating this diarrhea of a service.

2. This game is just GTA but you're a elite skeri haxxor..... which is probably why my close friend who loves ripping on those people loves this game and recommended it to me. The hacking gimmick is fun and easily the best part of the game, but it loses its charm after the 5th time of hacking a street light or drawbridge to make the cars crash. Chicago is a good setting but I was not offered ONE deep dish pizza while playing.

3. This is somehow the least bad game in the franchise. No wonder Ubisoft is losing so much money, and unlike what the greasy internet chuds say, it's not because their games have f♥cking pronouns, but because they can't release an actual video game. Before you buy this game (hopefully on sale because the asking price is insane for the quality), remember it was made by the people who also made Smurfs Dance Party.

"Hey Lizard Squad, hack this!"

Cool game but I wish Harper was giant and all the assets were made with AI.

Scene: 2026; A bustling gaming convention. The crowd is hyped as the trailer for Call of Duty: Black Ops 8 drops on the main screen. The room falls silent as the footage begins.

Trailer Narrator (Deep, Gravelly Voice):
"In a world where the stakes have never been higher... one man must face his greatest enemy... himself."

Cut to Reznov, a hardened war veteran, sitting on a toilet in a dimly lit bathroom. The sound of Taco Bell wrappers crinkles in the background. Reznov clutches his stomach, beads of sweat rolling down his face. Dramatic orchestral music swells.

Reznov (Grunting):
"This... is worse than Stalingrad."

The camera pans to a Taco Bell bag on the floor, labeled "Fire! Sauce Included." Reznov’s face contorts as he lets out a low, pained groan. The screen flashes: "The fight of his life begins now."

Crowd at Convention (Whispering):
"Wait, is that... Reznov? On a toilet?"
"Is this the campaign?"
"This is... actually kind of genius?"

The trailer ends with Reznov finally standing up, looking defeated but triumphant. The screen reads: "Call of Duty: Black Ops 8 – *Taco Bell: Reznov’s Revenge*. Available Now."

Crowd (Exploding into Cheers):
"THIS IS THE BEST COD STORY IN 10 YEARS!"
"REZNOV’S DIARRHEA IS THE NEW MODERN WARFARE!"
"TACO BELL DLC WHEN?!"

Cut to a group of gamers huddled around a console, playing the campaign.

Gamer 1:
"Dude, the way they captured the sound effects... it’s so immersive."

Gamer 2:
"I know, right? The splashes, the grunts, the occasional fart noise in the background... it’s cinematic gold."

Gamer 3:
"And the twist at the end? When Reznov realizes it was the Fire! sauce all along? Mind-blowing."

Gamer 4:
"Honestly, this is the emotional depth we’ve been missing in COD campaigns. Reznov’s struggle is *universal*."

Cut to a reviewer on a popular gaming channel.

Reviewer:
"Black Ops 8 takes a bold risk by focusing on Reznov’s gastrointestinal journey, and it pays off in spades. The character development is unparalleled, the pacing is tight, and the toilet physics are next-gen. 10/10, Game of the Year."

Cut to a Taco Bell executive giving a press conference.

Taco Bell Exec:
"We’re thrilled to partner with Activision on this groundbreaking narrative. Reznov’s story proves that even heroes have to deal with the consequences of their dietary choices. And yes, we’re already working on a limited-edition 'Reznov’s Revenge' menu item."

Final scene: Reznov, now recovered, stands in front of a Taco Bell, holding a burrito. He looks directly at the camera.

Reznov:
"Next time... I’m getting the mild sauce."

Screen fades to black. Text appears: "Call of Duty: Black Ops 8 – The Legend Continues."

Crowd (Cheering):
"REZNOV 2028!"
"TACO BELL FOR LIFE!"
"THIS IS ART!"

Fade out.

Aside from a few select games (Other CODs, Ultrakill, most Valve titles), I am not the biggest fan of FPS games. I find them a bit too stale for my taste. However, World at War has delivered one of most immersive cinematic experiences I have personally had in a FPS game, especially at the depiction of Stalingrad. To me, FPS games set in real historical conflicts are pretty damn peak.