14, June 1775.

I was born in a bomb crater. My mother was an M-16, and my father was the devil. Each moment that I live is an additional threat upon your life. I eat concertina, piss napalm, and I can shoot a round through a flea’s ass at 300 meters. I travel the globe festering on anti-Americans everywhere I go for the love of mom, Chevrolet, baseball, and apple pie. I’m a grunt. I’m the dirty, nasty, stinky, sweaty, filthy, beautiful ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that’s kept the wolf away from the door for over 230 years. I’m a United States Soldier, we look like marines, talk like sailors, slap the ♥♥♥♥ out of both of them. And on the seventh day, when God rested, we overran his perimeter and we’ve been running the show ever since. Warrior by day, lover by night, drunkard by choice, Soldier by God.


I love you, Mari. =D