Intel(R) Core(TM) i7-6700k CPU
ASRock AMD 5600XT
16.00 GB RAM of marinated DDR4 goodness
Ancient artifact Antec 900 Ultimate
A New York City taxi cab mousepad


When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. (Save that for the third world people) Instead, devise a Ponzi scheme involving selling said lemons, pocketing a profit each time you've sold one. Then, once you've done that, buy (or steal) yourself a nice sports car, like a Datsun.

Once you've done that, be sure to check your inventory, making sure you've got an adequate supply of lemons for your business. Acquire more if needed. Remember, you're out to make money, so spare as many expenses as possible when buying lemons. Use non-monetary bribes to get the Walmart greeters to keep their mouths shut about you stealing some lemons. Afterward, retire from your company, and give your best performing, dimmest-witted employee the keys to your company. This'll help avoid lawsuits against you.

After you've shadily weaseled your way past the angry Jewish attorneys, get the hell out of there. Don't forget your sports car though, as that's important. Remove the license plates (and optionally steal some from another car and use those) and drive on the back roads to avoid police attention, should you still technically be liable for your company. Get to the nearest airport and get a pilot's license for aircraft like leer jets. Then drive your car in the back of the plane, as well as a gas pump (steal one from a gas station) and fly to an uncharted island.

Since you're rich as ♥♥♥♥ right now, you can do anything. Summon a butler and tell him to pave you a road, and build you a mansion in 72 hours. He'll get it done. Afterwards, move into your mansion and marry your sports car, and live happily ever after without fear of the government coming after you for egging them on with a theft competition.