Fort exhale, Iraq, 2004. Hour 1300.
Me and my green beret team set of to on a suicide mission the CIA sent us on. We all knew there was no coming back. We had to find and kill the beast that killed our CO. The beast was a huge 12 ft green ogre living in a unknown swamp in the middle of Iraq. I was at ease because our new CO was called Poodle eater. He was a known legend in the task force. When he was 12 he ate his sisters poodle with ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ noodles. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ LEGEND.

When we arrived it was dark and foggy as expected. Me poodle eater and tex (random guy from texas) were alone. we looked back at our 3 APV convoy to see it was gone. Poodle eater ♥♥♥♥ his pants and it ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ stank. next thing i saw was him getting punched in the face by a green ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ midget. I was scared but when i looked at Tex he was getting eaten by shrek, yes ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ shrek the god. I was frightened at first but when i realized that the midgets were his army, it scared me more, an army of green midgets. HOLY ♥♥♥♥. i took my grenade launcher and shot it at the dozen midgets running at me. By the time i ran out of ammo i must have killed a hundred of them. It was time to face the beast himself, Shrek.

I ran up to punch the ♥♥♥♥♥♥ in the knee but he pulled a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ green mace from his ears made from ear wax and smashed my knees. I thought the time had come, shrek would finish me. But i noticed one bullet left in my launcher. I shot the thing into his eye. He screamed with pain ME FOCKEN EEEYE, DONKE HELP ME. I would not let him run away after killing poodle eater. I took his mace and swung it at his knees and those things snapped and actually exploded. I was covered with ear wax and loosing my consciousness when 7 CIA black hawks pulled up outta no where. They took me to my camp where the rest of the team were waiting. I entered the room like a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ god. Everyone liked it. Thats the day i was called the green beret for killing shrek himself.