neurd emotie

I ♥♥♥♥ing remember you, you damn pervert. You were that guy that pushed me on the McDonald's parking lot floor and violently shoved a ♥♥♥♥ in my mouth and told me, "You have to drink it all~" and slapped me in the face with it for 3 minutes while repeating the same ♥♥♥♥ing phrase over and over again, "You like this, don't you? Dirty ♥♥♥♥♥~". Then when you were about to squirt you shoved in in my mouth and you forced me to gag and swallow it. You then said, "Choke on it you ♥♥♥♥!" and left me to rot in the corner. Not only that, but you damaged my throat so badly, everytime I eat or drink anything I can still taste your salty, thick ♥♥♥ in my throat. Now, everytime I'm having a good time eating my favorite foods, I always remember you licking your lips and moaning.

Ball cleveage shorts should be a thing.

I feel like society is ready.

I can imagine all sorts of cool outfits that show off my ball cleveage, for the office, for the pool, weddings and any sort of occasion.

Wearing ball cleavage shorts will allow us men to use our assets to flirt with women who are in power in hopes of gaining some unfair advantage over those who are less endowed.

There would be "wonder shorts" which push the balls up front and accentuate the cleavage. Like diamonds on a pedestal.

There would be a little hole in the shorts to let the ball cleavage poke through

When I was 8 I tried to inflate my penis with a soccer ball pump. I'd heard of penis pumps but looking back I didn't quite understand the concept.

I stuck the needle into my urethra and inflated a few pushes. It gave me A half chub and a strong urge to urinate. I tried to go per but I just kinda farted out of my ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and the per splattered everywhere like a sprinkler. 20 years later I get sharp pains randomly when I urinate. I'm almost positive I have a urethral structure.

Oh yeah my ♥♥♥♥ is 5 feet long actually, it's a real problem for me, I have to get really specific pants and it hinders my everyday life dramatically. I vividly remember this one time I woke up in the middle of the night and somehow someway I actually was completely hard for the first time in my life. However I was quickly reminded that in order for my 5 foot penis to be erect, it would mean a large portion of my blood would be redirected into the shaft of my penis. My excitement was quickly and promptly ended when I fainted due to a lack of blood in my brain. Now everyday I fear that this event happens in public and my massive 5 foot penis bursts through my special pants and it's promptly followed by me fainting and falling on the floor with my ♥♥♥♥ out for all to see.