◖ He/Him ⠀⠀⠀⠀•⠀⠀⠀⠀ 22 ⠀•⠀⠀ I S2 Trucks! ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀◗

➤⠀A⠀B⠀O⠀U⠀T
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A los tres años boxeé con Poseidón y gané por puntos.
Asesor estratégico de s1mple, mano derecha de Don Quijote y preparador físico del caballo del Zorro.

Evento canónico sin relación aparente: sigo jugando Counter-Strike, farmeando sentido en este servidor hostil y laggeado llamado existencia humana sustancial.

At three years old, I boxed Poseidon and won on points.
Strategic advisor to s1mple, right-hand man of Don Quixote, strength coach for Zorro’s horse.

Unrelated but canon event: still playing Counter-Strike, desperately farming meaning in this hostile, laggy server known as substantial human existence.

➤⠀S⠀P⠀E⠀C⠀S
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CPU: Pentium 4 @ 3.0 GHz (single core = pure skill)
RAM: 512 MB DDR (can’t download more)
GPU: Radeon 9600 128 MB (Ray Tracing OFF)
Storage: 80 GB HDD (fragmented, but brave)
OS: Windows XP SP2 (unsupported, unstoppable)
Boot time: Yes
FPS: Depends on the wind

GAMES SUPPORTED:
✔ Counter-Strike 1.6
✔ Counter-Strike: Source
✔ Counter-Strike 2 (menu opens)
✔ CS2 (tutorial at 3 FPS)
✔ GTA San Andreas (low + faith)
✔ Half-Life 2 (cinematic slideshow)
✔ Minecraft (alpha, maybe)
✔ Cyberpunk 2077 (desktop shortcut only)
✔ Flight Simulator 2020 (watching YouTube gameplay)

🔥 FPS COUNTER:
Idle: 60
In-game: spiritual
Smoke grenade: ❓

⚠️ NOT SUPPORTED:
❌ Chrome
❌ Discord
❌ Windows Updates
❌ Reality

➤⠀M⠀U⠀S⠀I⠀C
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https://open.spotify.com/intl-es/track/5vNRhkKd0yEAg8suGBpjeY

➤⠀C⠀O⠀M⠀E⠀N⠀T⠀A⠀R⠀I⠀O
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English
13.5 billion years since the Big Bang and I still can’t smoke Window.
156 billion light-years of universe and my map pool is still: bedroom → gym → gas station → home → NPC wage-slave route.

Everything we see is the past.
Literally lag.
The universe is running on ping.

So why do we act like the future is real?
Like it’s playable content.
Like it’s not already pre-rendered.
Like Tyson vs Paul wasn’t written by marketing interns.

Answer?
Nah.

Why buy BTC at $350k and sell at $530k?
Why buy USDT at $5.37 and sell at $5.88?
What if I do it backwards?
What if I don’t buy anything and become a “watching charts guy”?
What if the real investment was the emotional damage?

Two hard-coded truths:
• Cristiano Ronaldo has more Champions League trophies than Atlético Madrid ever will.
• GabeN owns the world’s dopamine supply and would still lose an arm-wrestling match to a 15-year-old Russian kid with a $30 cheat and 300 ping.

11 PM.
I feel old.
Queue. Lose. Alt-tab. Doomscroll. Repeat.

Español
13,5 mil millones de años desde el Big Bang y todavía no sé tirar la smoke en Ventana.
156 mil millones de años luz y mi map pool sigue siendo: cuarto → gimnasio → estación de servicio → casa → ruta NPC del proletariado posmoderno.

Todo es el pasado.
Literalmente lag.
El universo corre con ping alto.

¿El futuro? Contenido no desbloqueado.
¿Respuesta? Ninguna.
Solo velas. Rojas.

Dos verdades hardcodeadas:
• Cristiano Ronaldo > Atlético de Madrid.
• GabeN igual pierde contra un pibe ruso con cheat y 300 de ping.

23:00.
Me siento viejo.
Queueo. Pierdo. Alt-tabeo. Doomscrolleo. Repito.