And the angel of the Lord came unto me, snatching me up from my place of slumber, and took me on higher and higher still until we moved to the spaces betwixt the air itself. And he brought me into a vast farmlands of our own Midwest. And as we descended, cries of impending doom rose from the soil—one thousand, nay, a million voices full of fear.

And terror possessed me then, and I begged, "Angel of the Lord, what are these tortured screams?" And the angel said unto me, "These are the cries of the carrots, the cries of the carrots! You see, Reverend Maynard, tomorrow is harvest day, and to them, it is the holocaust."

And I sprang from my slumber, drenched in sweat—like the tears of one million terrified brothers—and roared: "Hear me now! I have seen the light! They have a consciousness, they have a life, they have a soul! Damn you! Let the rabbits wear glasses! Save our brothers!"

Can I get an amen?
Can I get a hallelujah?
Thank you, Jesus.